Maybe its the exposure to the many different ethical views of people..
Maybe I'm tired of people treating me for granted..
Maybe I'm sick of getting disappointed by people
Maybe I'm just worn out from being an alternative.
Maybe I'm irritated by all the double standards
Maybe I'm exhausted with all the secrets
Maybe I'm tired of feeling
Maybe, just maybe, it's better to be alone.
No attachments, no expectations, no feelings, no disappointments, no rules, no hellos, no farewells, just nothing.
Yea, that sums up how I'm feeling these few days. Is it that hard, that painful to have what I yearn for? Perhaps it's only this difficult 'cos its me? I truly meant what I said up there. I'm really tired of feeling. If only there is some miraculous drink or treatment which I can partake and kill all feelings in me, would I feel happier? Guess I wouldn't know as all feelings in me would have died. But one thing I'm sure of, I wouldn't feel any pain, disappointments, sadness or give a shit about what anyone thinks or expects of me. That feels like an ideal world for me now. But I can't go there, can I?
The closest thing I can get to it now is death. And it feels so welcoming, so tempting.
I know this is an emo shitty post but yea. I just want to crawl into a dark deep hole, huddle my knees around my chest and cover the hole up. No one is to enter. No one is able to hurt me then. No pain will be able to penetrate it. After I've recovered and am feeling stronger, I'll climb back up again, on my own. And then, the world may once again use me as they wish to. But for me, let me be shut in my hole.
Showing posts with label upset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label upset. Show all posts
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
One of my moods..
Been feeling downcast-ed recently. Have no idea why.
Alright, that might be a lie. I think I know the reason why but just refused to face the truth.
Maybe it's also due to my lack of sleep that's causing this. I've been sleeping only a few hours a night. Sometimes, it can be like 1 hour, if it's good, I can get 3 hours of sleep. I have no idea why but sleep seems to be evading me. If I do fall into slumber, dreams plagued me.
Hopefully all of this will soon be washed away.
Shall share a few stuff here~
Songs that have recently captured me in some way or another, mainly the lyrics.
Beyoncé - Poison
Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here
Sorry for such an emo post, I promise I'll try my best to cheer up and make this into an happy blog again!
P.S. Thanks to all who showed their concern & tried to cheer me up. <3 ~
Something that I chanced upon in FaceBook today. Felt it was quite a good description of how I am. Don't take it seriously yea~
By the way, it's in Chinese so Google Translate might be your good friend if you're interested. :)
【巨蟹座】 (6月22日 - 7月23日)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=419584391390065&set=a.419579108057260.117610.151523654862808&type=3&theater
当巨蟹低下头跟你道歉，当巨蟹为你放下冷漠，当巨蟹为你
有时候，巨蟹希望时间停下，就这样和喜欢的人地老天荒；
巨蟹座一生都在寻找和等待一个懂自己的人。当被人误解、
如果你爱上了巨蟹座，请你想清楚，
你是否会用尽全力爱上她的全部。
她的哭，她的笑，她的任性，她的敏感；
她的纠结，她的宽容，她的善良，她的温柔；
她的依赖，她的自私，她的天真，她的粗心；
她的疯狂，她的安静，她的情绪化，还有她同样用尽全力爱
这个带著母性光辉的巨蟹是个有著浓浓怀旧情感的星座，至
有时候超爱说话、有时候可以一整天不说话高兴的时候会拚
巨蟹座很爱面子、遇到喜欢的人不会轻易地表露出来，除非
巨蟹座们很爱朋友、无论和谁都能好在一起，所以请你别背
巨蟹座的孩子：
有点笨、有点疯、有点傻。
有时神经很大条、对朋友很真心。
面对爱情、怕受伤、爱逃避。
有时会很绝情、却还是心软。
很懒、怕孤独、爱安静、爱吃东西。
巨蟹座的人往往有点可爱、有点任性。
心计不多、闹完了不记仇的，心胸宽广、只是别激怒他。
他的热情可以把你融化，他会用偽装的冷漠和麻木吓退所有
巨蟹很爱家、很念旧，不容许别人侵犯他的地盘，内向、把
巨蟹平时总是嘻嘻哈哈、什麼都无所谓，可转过头、笑容裡
巨蟹一个人呆著就会莫名其妙的想发呆、不知道想些什麼、
巨蟹座很恋旧情，内心设防较严重，很专情，真的喜欢一个
巨蟹很容易恋爱、也很容易不爱，在他们心裡会有一个很爱
偏执、认定了的事就不会改变，也很内向、心中的话绝对不
永远活在壳裡的胆小鬼，所以..巨蟹座的人很奇怪..
有时候，巨蟹希望时间停下，就这样和喜欢的人地老天荒；
巨蟹座一生都在寻找和等待一个懂自己的人。当被人误解、
如果你爱上了巨蟹座，请你想清楚，
你是否会用尽全力爱上她的全部。
她的哭，她的笑，她的任性，她的敏感；
她的纠结，她的宽容，她的善良，她的温柔；
她的依赖，她的自私，她的天真，她的粗心；
她的疯狂，她的安静，她的情绪化，还有她同样用尽全力爱
这个带著母性光辉的巨蟹是个有著浓浓怀旧情感的星座，至
有时候超爱说话、有时候可以一整天不说话高兴的时候会拚
巨蟹座很爱面子、遇到喜欢的人不会轻易地表露出来，除非
巨蟹座们很爱朋友、无论和谁都能好在一起，所以请你别背
巨蟹座的孩子：
有点笨、有点疯、有点傻。
有时神经很大条、对朋友很真心。
面对爱情、怕受伤、爱逃避。
有时会很绝情、却还是心软。
很懒、怕孤独、爱安静、爱吃东西。
巨蟹座的人往往有点可爱、有点任性。
心计不多、闹完了不记仇的，心胸宽广、只是别激怒他。
他的热情可以把你融化，他会用偽装的冷漠和麻木吓退所有
巨蟹很爱家、很念旧，不容许别人侵犯他的地盘，内向、把
巨蟹平时总是嘻嘻哈哈、什麼都无所谓，可转过头、笑容裡
巨蟹一个人呆著就会莫名其妙的想发呆、不知道想些什麼、
巨蟹座很恋旧情，内心设防较严重，很专情，真的喜欢一个
巨蟹很容易恋爱、也很容易不爱，在他们心裡会有一个很爱
偏执、认定了的事就不会改变，也很内向、心中的话绝对不
永远活在壳裡的胆小鬼，所以..巨蟹座的人很奇怪..
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Life seldom goes the way you want it to.
Supposed to be an happy post about Natsu Matsuri 2010 but then, stuff happened.
Been thinking about life a lot recently and after a week of uni, feels like, sometimes, you just can't help screaming 'LIFE IS FREAKING UNFAIR!'
When I was on the MRT earlier, I actually wrote a note on my iTouch about how I feel about 'Love' and what I think it actually is.
Then, I found out something upon reaching home and it just punched the spirits out of me.
Though it is just a mere 2 days and 1 night, I guess this was the last straw for me. It feels like time is always clashing. Time seems to be slipping out of my hands recently and I'm afraid it that what I cherished will slip away from me too.
Bad things just seem to flowing once it starts. Sometimes, I feel so swamped up, mentally.
Guess it's time to sort out my priorities.
Maybe it's the exhaustion from 1st week of school.
Just wished at times I could do a 'Kage Bunshin' like in Naruto and maybe my time management will be better.
But then again, more people would not want to see more 'me' I guess.
Okie, this is just me talking crap. My brain is a little dead and I need more cheering up so I gotta go into zen mode to clear my head.
Maybe more next time.
Been thinking about life a lot recently and after a week of uni, feels like, sometimes, you just can't help screaming 'LIFE IS FREAKING UNFAIR!'
When I was on the MRT earlier, I actually wrote a note on my iTouch about how I feel about 'Love' and what I think it actually is.
Then, I found out something upon reaching home and it just punched the spirits out of me.
Though it is just a mere 2 days and 1 night, I guess this was the last straw for me. It feels like time is always clashing. Time seems to be slipping out of my hands recently and I'm afraid it that what I cherished will slip away from me too.
Bad things just seem to flowing once it starts. Sometimes, I feel so swamped up, mentally.
Guess it's time to sort out my priorities.
Maybe it's the exhaustion from 1st week of school.
Just wished at times I could do a 'Kage Bunshin' like in Naruto and maybe my time management will be better.
But then again, more people would not want to see more 'me' I guess.
Okie, this is just me talking crap. My brain is a little dead and I need more cheering up so I gotta go into zen mode to clear my head.
Maybe more next time.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sigh. I'm Tired.
Feeling tired recently.
Not so much in a physical sense but mentally.
Reason being disappointment. But, I guess, it's just my expectations were too high and unrealistic.
Wonder when will I be able to.......
Or maybe I'm just not fit......
I dunno.
Sometimes, I can't help wondering if sadness arrives because one can't have too much happiness.
It links, because one can only experience happiness when there is sadness and vice-versa.
Okay. Enough of this post. Suddenly feels like bawling. Need a crying outlet. Gonna watch 1 litre of tears. Sore eyes tomorrow. Nites people.
Not so much in a physical sense but mentally.
Reason being disappointment. But, I guess, it's just my expectations were too high and unrealistic.
Wonder when will I be able to.......
Or maybe I'm just not fit......
I dunno.
Sometimes, I can't help wondering if sadness arrives because one can't have too much happiness.
It links, because one can only experience happiness when there is sadness and vice-versa.
Okay. Enough of this post. Suddenly feels like bawling. Need a crying outlet. Gonna watch 1 litre of tears. Sore eyes tomorrow. Nites people.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
New Stuff!
Whahahahaha!
Okie~ Shall blog again. Lots of picture spam from here. Heehee.
SOY'B 2010. Went there with Danny and Leen. It was okkaaayyyy~ Met with a few of my friends. Did not manage to talk much with them as the inner area was super crowded while the outside, well, they can be anywhere outside. Heehee.
Some photos of that day~
We both wore our bear/bunny knitwear that we got from Taobao some time back. Mine's brown while her's was pink. Heex~
After SOY'B, Danny and I went off to meet XM and walked around town for awhile before going separate ways. Shopped around PS with XM and little did I know I was being stalked. Sheesh. Shan't say who.
I've been wandering around PS recently these few days. Went there to photocopy my certs and stuff for uni admissions. Just decided to photocopy some of it first.
Whahaha! My mom actually went to laminate it. Drawings when I was in Pri 5. Horrible yea? I'm never cut out for arts and craft. But still, gotta try and improve. Heehee.
Can see from the picture that it's raining super heavily outside. Kinda of happy though. Thought I wouldn't have a chance to wear my winter wear le. Whahahaha. Yea, I know I can be crazy about winter wear, especially in Singapore.
Main place I was shopping at PS is Daiso. Yeaa, I can buy lots of stuff from there. Love spending time in that shop. There's just so many things to see and of course, buy. Hahax.
I love caramel corn. Had a sudden craving for it recently. Heex.
Went out for 2 birthday celebrations the past week. Sherwin's and Daniel's! After these two dinners, I felt like I ate a lot recently. Feeling much fatter now. Hahahaha! No pictures, guess I was too busy enjoying the delicacies. Heex.
Date with Leen yesterday. Our original plan was to travel to FEP, Bugis and lastly Vivo. We were planning for ice-cream treats in between and Danny decided to join us for a little while. Ice-cream is goooooood~ Hahahahaha. However, we only went FEP and Vivo as we spent too much time at FEP and we met up later than planned. So, might be going down Bugis on Thursday with Leen again. Was shopping around for CNY stuff and accessories which ended up with us buying some nonsensical stuff, both from FEP and Vivo Daiso. (Yea, we went Vivo just for Daiso) LOL. But I was really glad with some of my buys.
Love the big white fluffy bow I got from FEP and the letter sets from Daiso. And of course, Caramel Corn~ Looveee. Some of the stuff I get are pretty obvious huh? But I'm gonna do something different and hopefully it will turn out ok.
I love the letter sets from Daiso. I bought a total of 4 sets recently.
Actually, the main reason why I kept going to Daiso is due to my fake nails. Bought some from there and also, I'm looking for the nail glue - sticker version. Leen and I saw it at PS Daiso before but it was the last packet. And till now, I can't find it anywhere else. Which was the reason why we went to Vivo Daiso. If anyone knows any other places that sells the sticker version of nail glue for fake nails, do let me know ya? Thanks in advance. Really really really need it. Heehee.
Went out with the Trix, Gerry & Wendy today. Had lots of fun walking around, playing at the UFO Catcher and purikura!~ We spent lots of time (and money) at the UFO Catcher and we managed to catch 7 soft toys! Gerry was the main catcher. And everytime a soft toy drops, we would be jumping in delight. Imagine 4 girls jumping there. WHahahaha. After that, went to Cineleisure to take neoprints and it was fun too~!! Shall wait for Gerry to scan the neoprints in. Heehee. Trix left first while Gerry, Wendy and I continue shopping after dinner. Shopped quite a lot. Just today, Wendy had already bought 2 pairs of shoes! Hahax.. Went to FEP where we all bought socks. I bought gray over-knee socks and they are so much better than the ones I got from the pasar malam. Citrus Sox is gooood! Planning to go back and buy their knee high socks soon. =P
We went to Uniqlo @ Ion too to try to find checkered shirts. However, there weren't any but Wendy & I bought clothes from there too. Mine's a Disney Cinderella tee. There was another tee that I really liked but I just felt that it might be a little too childish if I wear it? Oh well~ My tee came along with 3 Disney badges too~
My steals for today~
Went back home after that. Actually, the whole day, I was feeling pretty upset. Guess people could somehow see it on my face. Jun, Sandy, Marcus, Zoe and the rest. Special thanks to Jun and Sandy! They were trying to cheer me up in school. Heehee. Just feeling upset because of some stuff that happened the night before, and also thanks to the stupid nightmare that I had. Urgh. Anyway, things seems to be resolved now and hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. *crosses fingers*
For the whole day, I only ate 1 Hershey Pie and 1 Reg Coke. Yeaps, that's all. Didn't have any appetite and amazingly, no gastric pain too! Okie, enough of food and unhappiness. XD
Guess what I found when I reached home.
Had a hard time opening it.
Super cute right, the contact lens cases! Actually, I'm selling them as I bought way too many. Do let me know if you're interested. I'm selling them around $7 to $9 each. Price can be negotiated. Heehee. Just leave a comment or tag here or you can email me at jlsc26@hotmail.com.
There's closer up pictures below~
Anyway, while sorting out my stuff, I just realised something interesting.
Okie~ Shall blog again. Lots of picture spam from here. Heehee.
SOY'B 2010. Went there with Danny and Leen. It was okkaaayyyy~ Met with a few of my friends. Did not manage to talk much with them as the inner area was super crowded while the outside, well, they can be anywhere outside. Heehee.
Some photos of that day~
On the way to Leen's house to prepare.
Camwhoring while waiting for her.
On the long bus ride down to NP with our brunch~
Camwhoring while waiting for Danny. heehee
We both wore our bear/bunny knitwear that we got from Taobao some time back. Mine's brown while her's was pink. Heex~
After SOY'B, Danny and I went off to meet XM and walked around town for awhile before going separate ways. Shopped around PS with XM and little did I know I was being stalked. Sheesh. Shan't say who.
I've been wandering around PS recently these few days. Went there to photocopy my certs and stuff for uni admissions. Just decided to photocopy some of it first.
While searching for my certs, I found some 'artistic' drawings of mine in 2001!
Whahaha! My mom actually went to laminate it. Drawings when I was in Pri 5. Horrible yea? I'm never cut out for arts and craft. But still, gotta try and improve. Heehee.
Anyway, while travelling down to PS. Freezing cold in the train~
Can see from the picture that it's raining super heavily outside. Kinda of happy though. Thought I wouldn't have a chance to wear my winter wear le. Whahahaha. Yea, I know I can be crazy about winter wear, especially in Singapore.
Main place I was shopping at PS is Daiso. Yeaa, I can buy lots of stuff from there. Love spending time in that shop. There's just so many things to see and of course, buy. Hahax.
One of my random batch that I got from Daiso.
Went out for 2 birthday celebrations the past week. Sherwin's and Daniel's! After these two dinners, I felt like I ate a lot recently. Feeling much fatter now. Hahahaha! No pictures, guess I was too busy enjoying the delicacies. Heex.
Date with Leen yesterday. Our original plan was to travel to FEP, Bugis and lastly Vivo. We were planning for ice-cream treats in between and Danny decided to join us for a little while. Ice-cream is goooooood~ Hahahahaha. However, we only went FEP and Vivo as we spent too much time at FEP and we met up later than planned. So, might be going down Bugis on Thursday with Leen again. Was shopping around for CNY stuff and accessories which ended up with us buying some nonsensical stuff, both from FEP and Vivo Daiso. (Yea, we went Vivo just for Daiso) LOL. But I was really glad with some of my buys.
I love the letter sets from Daiso. I bought a total of 4 sets recently.
Super duper nice right??
Actually, the main reason why I kept going to Daiso is due to my fake nails. Bought some from there and also, I'm looking for the nail glue - sticker version. Leen and I saw it at PS Daiso before but it was the last packet. And till now, I can't find it anywhere else. Which was the reason why we went to Vivo Daiso. If anyone knows any other places that sells the sticker version of nail glue for fake nails, do let me know ya? Thanks in advance. Really really really need it. Heehee.
Went out with the Trix, Gerry & Wendy today. Had lots of fun walking around, playing at the UFO Catcher and purikura!~ We spent lots of time (and money) at the UFO Catcher and we managed to catch 7 soft toys! Gerry was the main catcher. And everytime a soft toy drops, we would be jumping in delight. Imagine 4 girls jumping there. WHahahaha. After that, went to Cineleisure to take neoprints and it was fun too~!! Shall wait for Gerry to scan the neoprints in. Heehee. Trix left first while Gerry, Wendy and I continue shopping after dinner. Shopped quite a lot. Just today, Wendy had already bought 2 pairs of shoes! Hahax.. Went to FEP where we all bought socks. I bought gray over-knee socks and they are so much better than the ones I got from the pasar malam. Citrus Sox is gooood! Planning to go back and buy their knee high socks soon. =P
We went to Uniqlo @ Ion too to try to find checkered shirts. However, there weren't any but Wendy & I bought clothes from there too. Mine's a Disney Cinderella tee. There was another tee that I really liked but I just felt that it might be a little too childish if I wear it? Oh well~ My tee came along with 3 Disney badges too~
My steals for today~
The two soft toys are given by Gerry. Angbao packets by Wendy.
My badges along with furry Minnie~!
Went back home after that. Actually, the whole day, I was feeling pretty upset. Guess people could somehow see it on my face. Jun, Sandy, Marcus, Zoe and the rest. Special thanks to Jun and Sandy! They were trying to cheer me up in school. Heehee. Just feeling upset because of some stuff that happened the night before, and also thanks to the stupid nightmare that I had. Urgh. Anyway, things seems to be resolved now and hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. *crosses fingers*
For the whole day, I only ate 1 Hershey Pie and 1 Reg Coke. Yeaps, that's all. Didn't have any appetite and amazingly, no gastric pain too! Okie, enough of food and unhappiness. XD
Guess what I found when I reached home.
Another bomb! Woots!
Had a hard time opening it.
After opening it, there are 4 treasure boxes in it. Heehee
The 1st box contains...
2nd box was full of..
3rd box
And lastly, the 4th box contains..
My latest buy from Taobao!
Hair Accessories. Just realised I forgot to take picture of the big gray ribbon.
Wedges/Platforms & Pumps! Looveeee~
LED Light Mirror & Bling Bling~
2nd box was full of..
3rd box
And lastly, the 4th box contains..
My latest buy from Taobao!
Hair Accessories. Just realised I forgot to take picture of the big gray ribbon.
Wedges/Platforms & Pumps! Looveeee~
LED Light Mirror & Bling Bling~
Closer look of the Blings & Mirrors~
Contact Lens Cases.
Super cute right, the contact lens cases! Actually, I'm selling them as I bought way too many. Do let me know if you're interested. I'm selling them around $7 to $9 each. Price can be negotiated. Heehee. Just leave a comment or tag here or you can email me at jlsc26@hotmail.com.
There's closer up pictures below~
Bunny/Cat/Frog/Monkey Case
Hello Kitty/Winnie the Pooh Cases
Hello Kitty Case
Okie, that's all. Do let me know if you're interested. XDD
Anyway, while sorting out my stuff, I just realised something interesting.
This label was on the packaging of my mirror.
Ahhh~ Shall go to sleep now. Tired~ No more nightmares please! *crosses fingers*
Can't wait for tomorrow. Nua-ing day with XM after school~ Wheeeee! Nites people! XDD
Can't wait for tomorrow. Nua-ing day with XM after school~ Wheeeee! Nites people! XDD
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Love Language
What's your love language?
There's 5 of them.
Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.
Love language means the way you show your love, care and concern for friends, family and of course, your boyfriend or girlfriend.
For me, I feel like I'm a mix of all but more emphasis on Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Guess those are mine.
So, what is your love language?=)
Can't fall asleep as I can't stop thinking about some stuff that happened just now. Sigh~ Why do I always have to mess things up??!!! Why why why? Sigh. Just hope things will work out well.
Why is it cold and raining inside while outside is hot and humid? Sigh~
Stupid me.
- Posted from my iTouch
There's 5 of them.
Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.
Love language means the way you show your love, care and concern for friends, family and of course, your boyfriend or girlfriend.
For me, I feel like I'm a mix of all but more emphasis on Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Guess those are mine.
So, what is your love language?=)
Can't fall asleep as I can't stop thinking about some stuff that happened just now. Sigh~ Why do I always have to mess things up??!!! Why why why? Sigh. Just hope things will work out well.
Why is it cold and raining inside while outside is hot and humid? Sigh~
Stupid me.
- Posted from my iTouch
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes I just feel like I'm the only one in this whole thing.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm the only one making the effort.
Selfish thinking, I know. But, sometimes, I just can't help it.
Raining...
Sometimes I just feel like I'm the only one making the effort.
Selfish thinking, I know. But, sometimes, I just can't help it.
Raining...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
I feel so pissed off today. Main person was my mom. Shan't elaborate but just that I got woken up really early for something so redundant and later on, by minor details that could have been solved by just thinking a little more. Seriously.
Anyway, that's past, though there are some stuff that is going on that is still making me quite pissed but I shall be tolerant for these few days. It's really testing my patience.
I gotta say that my mood is really bad these few days, feeling upset, grumpy and angry. Though the arrival of my cousins is a distraction for me from my problems, but there are also lots of complications. I really enjoy their company but like I said, complications. This is where human nature shows. Sigh~
2010 seems to be a year starting with tribulations. It is also a transition year for me with my graduation from poly, I have no idea which university I'm going or what degree I'm going to be taking. Currently still thinking about it. Not to say, there seems to be so many problems that are flying about, be it relationship or studies. Guess the stuff that is affecting me lately are these two. But I'm really glad that I'm finally able to talk it out and stuff. Was feeling very suffocated these few days but I'm feeling better now. Thanks! Thanks to those who were concerned about me when they saw my horrid temper this week. Hahax.
So what do you do when you're in a bad mood? For me, I'll go shopping. Okay, I didn't actually go on a shopping spree but while I was bringing Clinton and Shanice around, I saw this really cool shop in Bugis Junction and bought an ice-cream bag there. It was really cute and when I was about to pay, I found a really nice black and gold MTV cap. I wanted a cap for a really long time so I decided to get it. Hahas! Was really happy with my buys!
Okay, I shall post up the pictures when I get back my room which I have no idea when. Feeling really tired now so I shall go and sleep. Might even be going to the zoo tomorrow with them~ Oh well. Oh yea, the title above is by Mifuyu from Tayutama - Kiss on my Deity. Maybe I'll try to follow it though I'm not sure if I exactly agree with it. But for now, there is nothing that I can do but to be patient.
Nites..
He is flying on Monday.. Will I get to see him before he leaves?
Anyway, that's past, though there are some stuff that is going on that is still making me quite pissed but I shall be tolerant for these few days. It's really testing my patience.
I gotta say that my mood is really bad these few days, feeling upset, grumpy and angry. Though the arrival of my cousins is a distraction for me from my problems, but there are also lots of complications. I really enjoy their company but like I said, complications. This is where human nature shows. Sigh~
2010 seems to be a year starting with tribulations. It is also a transition year for me with my graduation from poly, I have no idea which university I'm going or what degree I'm going to be taking. Currently still thinking about it. Not to say, there seems to be so many problems that are flying about, be it relationship or studies. Guess the stuff that is affecting me lately are these two. But I'm really glad that I'm finally able to talk it out and stuff. Was feeling very suffocated these few days but I'm feeling better now. Thanks! Thanks to those who were concerned about me when they saw my horrid temper this week. Hahax.
So what do you do when you're in a bad mood? For me, I'll go shopping. Okay, I didn't actually go on a shopping spree but while I was bringing Clinton and Shanice around, I saw this really cool shop in Bugis Junction and bought an ice-cream bag there. It was really cute and when I was about to pay, I found a really nice black and gold MTV cap. I wanted a cap for a really long time so I decided to get it. Hahas! Was really happy with my buys!
Okay, I shall post up the pictures when I get back my room which I have no idea when. Feeling really tired now so I shall go and sleep. Might even be going to the zoo tomorrow with them~ Oh well. Oh yea, the title above is by Mifuyu from Tayutama - Kiss on my Deity. Maybe I'll try to follow it though I'm not sure if I exactly agree with it. But for now, there is nothing that I can do but to be patient.
Nites..
He is flying on Monday.. Will I get to see him before he leaves?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Curiousity killed jO
Okay, I was just kidding about the title above. I'm not dead yet.
Anyway, finally had a little talk with him about the issues that were hanging around and bothering the both of us. I thought that things were taking a better turn after Sunday, however, I guess the trials are still ongoing.
With this talk, it cleared up some of my questions but at the same time, it created an even bigger and scarier doubt. One that I wish not to have.
Hopefully a few weeks later or even sooner (I hope), things can finally come to a close and we will be able to move on further.
On the way back and reaching home, just started to bawl again. Luckily, only my dog was there to hear my screams. Hahax. Poor her. After random thinking, I start to wonder if I've been inflicted with a curse or so. But that's just foolish thinking. Hahax. Guess I better get to sleep soon. Tomorrow is just a presentation and out with Shanice and Clinton again.
I really pray and hope that things will turn for the better soon. The new year is not getting to a good start. Sigh~
Anyway, finally had a little talk with him about the issues that were hanging around and bothering the both of us. I thought that things were taking a better turn after Sunday, however, I guess the trials are still ongoing.
With this talk, it cleared up some of my questions but at the same time, it created an even bigger and scarier doubt. One that I wish not to have.
Hopefully a few weeks later or even sooner (I hope), things can finally come to a close and we will be able to move on further.
On the way back and reaching home, just started to bawl again. Luckily, only my dog was there to hear my screams. Hahax. Poor her. After random thinking, I start to wonder if I've been inflicted with a curse or so. But that's just foolish thinking. Hahax. Guess I better get to sleep soon. Tomorrow is just a presentation and out with Shanice and Clinton again.
I really pray and hope that things will turn for the better soon. The new year is not getting to a good start. Sigh~
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Freakkk!!
URGHHHH!!!!
Today was going all well, a superb day, lovely, wonderful, all great..... before I reached home.
Upon reaching home, got nagged and scolded by my dad for reaching home too late, spending too much time outside, dressing up nicer than before and spending my money.
1) Reaching home too late: Only like once in a blue moon I'll reach home after 10.30pm. Okay, he's worried about me. I understand.
2) Spending too much time outside: I'll try to be at home at least 1 full day or evening every week. Thing is, there is no family bonding even if I'm home because, everyone is just shut in their own room most of the time. And I want a life too. But, oh well, next~
3) Dressing up nicer: Okkkaaay, that is a crime in my father's opinion. He feels that I should just wear jeans and tees and that is good enough. Because if you dress up too nicely, people will wonder what kind of person you are and wonder if you are doing shady business or an hooker!
4) Spending money: I do know that I cannot spend too much and should save too. But indulgence once in a while is a good thing too. I've worked that hard for it and I can't spend a single cent. You're kidding right??? Well, I guess not.
Anyway, these are just what happened upon reaching home and thanks to it, my great day became a not-so-great day. Like Freeeeaaakkkk!!! Was super upset. I mean I did my part to study hard so why am I not allowed a life outside. Might as well just lock me up if you wish for me to just study and study and study and...... still study. Right???? Everyone needs their own relaxation time, their leisure, their friends. You have prawning and friends there, I have my own group of friends. So what is the difference? And seriously, I'm 19. I'm not 13 anymore. I know the most of the consequences of the decisions I make, so why can't you trust me? I know what I want to do with my life. I know how to take care of myself. So why? Why can't you just trust me???!!!! I know you're worried, but if you're refusing to let me try out and be independent, I won't be able to learn. Sigh~
Urgh!! Oh well. I've finished venting my frustration out and all, guess I should sleep soon.
Thinking over it, I'm still happy over the events that happened for the past 2 days. Really enjoyed them loads and hearing it from you, it made me super happy! Thanks so much dear! Even though things were unpleasant in the night, but I still grateful and glad for the things that happened in the day! And tadaaa.. Superb by day, Unpleasant by night.
Okok, this shows that my brain is getting tired soon. Nights people. Shall post about what happened the past week or so soon! Heehee.
Nites!~
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Was upset but cheered up~
Was feeling kinda of upset this afternoon.. Was walking around FEP looking for something when the incident happened.. Won't say much about it and just let it float away~ =)
It saddens me but then again, this is life. This is reality. Stuff happens and it does for a reason. Just gotta accept it then. Well, I've learned my lesson now.
I feel that people got to put themselves into other people's shoes (not literally.. ), because only then, will you see the view from the other side. It's a simple theory. However, in reality, very few people do that. It's reality. Why? Ask yourself. =)
These past 2 weeks had been an hectic time for me. Both physically and emotionally. Guess the phrase, 日久见人心, is really true. Oh well~ Learn from it and move on. XDD
I've just ordered a 2nd batch of items from Taobao through the agent~ Heehee. My 1st batch of items is currently flying over. Most probably it will reach next Tuesday.. Wheeeee~! Winter wear is coming. This parcel was delayed due to items going OOS thus I had to find alternative sellers. Anyway, this is a combined order among me and my few friends.
For me, I have many people asking me if I have lobangs to many different things. (I think I have the word LOBANG written on my forehead.... Do I?) So when I do, I'll definitely let my friends know. Since it is something I can help them with, why not? Good things should be shared among friends right? Agree?
So, I guess the next time people wants to join in my shopping order, I'll have to explain lots of thingy to them~ I don't wish for this type of trivial matters to spoil any relationship we have. Or like what my other friend advised me, "Just leave these type of people out of it and not tell them anything" (Referring to the incident)
Oh well~ Hopefully my 2nd batch of order won't have any problems and things will run smoothly~ Heehee. It contains lots of boots, wedges and shoes~! Not all are mine though. XDDD
Just a note here, I'm not organizing sprees for business purposes. I just happened to want to order stuff and if there are interested friends who wish to hop on to it, they're welcomed~
Okie, I'm feeling seh seh now.. Almost time to sleep~ Thanks to everyone who were concerned about me. Thanks XM~
Nites!
It saddens me but then again, this is life. This is reality. Stuff happens and it does for a reason. Just gotta accept it then. Well, I've learned my lesson now.
I feel that people got to put themselves into other people's shoes (not literally.. ), because only then, will you see the view from the other side. It's a simple theory. However, in reality, very few people do that. It's reality. Why? Ask yourself. =)
These past 2 weeks had been an hectic time for me. Both physically and emotionally. Guess the phrase, 日久见人心, is really true. Oh well~ Learn from it and move on. XDD
I've just ordered a 2nd batch of items from Taobao through the agent~ Heehee. My 1st batch of items is currently flying over. Most probably it will reach next Tuesday.. Wheeeee~! Winter wear is coming. This parcel was delayed due to items going OOS thus I had to find alternative sellers. Anyway, this is a combined order among me and my few friends.
For me, I have many people asking me if I have lobangs to many different things. (I think I have the word LOBANG written on my forehead.... Do I?) So when I do, I'll definitely let my friends know. Since it is something I can help them with, why not? Good things should be shared among friends right? Agree?
So, I guess the next time people wants to join in my shopping order, I'll have to explain lots of thingy to them~ I don't wish for this type of trivial matters to spoil any relationship we have. Or like what my other friend advised me, "Just leave these type of people out of it and not tell them anything" (Referring to the incident)
Oh well~ Hopefully my 2nd batch of order won't have any problems and things will run smoothly~ Heehee. It contains lots of boots, wedges and shoes~! Not all are mine though. XDDD
Just a note here, I'm not organizing sprees for business purposes. I just happened to want to order stuff and if there are interested friends who wish to hop on to it, they're welcomed~
Okie, I'm feeling seh seh now.. Almost time to sleep~ Thanks to everyone who were concerned about me. Thanks XM~
Nites!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Am I Wrong?
Here I am, confused once more.
Am I wrong?
If I am, tell me.
I rather be told I'm wrong then to be left feeling confused about matters.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Patience is a virtue
PEK CHEK!!! It's late so I'm getting easily irritated now. Guess my mood is getting worse these few days. Especially today when walking around PS. Arghhhhhhhh!!!!
Call it PMS or lack of sleep, I'm just feeling upset now. Think I need my sleep soon. But I can't..
Great!! And it's raining again. Arghhhhh!!!
Call it PMS or lack of sleep, I'm just feeling upset now. Think I need my sleep soon. But I can't..
Great!! And it's raining again. Arghhhhh!!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Should I or should I not?
Maybe I'm just paranoid. Or its the time of the month where I'll be feeling snappy and temperant and down. I just wish I could get rid of this thing I'm feeling now. Assurance.
At workplace, was not feeling very talkative and was tired, partly cause of my sore throat. So guess, I gave off some aura or some 'dao' feeling to the new temp staff who just came. Oh well, when I'm not in my usual socialising mood, sometimes I will just come off like that. Their looks and stares towards me told me that I wasn't exactly very friendly. Guessing it might be my attitude towards the food and my words.
Don't really bother~ Still have lots of lunch together.Now currently typing in Notepad then transferring over to the blog later. Got tired of listening to my psp, so switched with Dawn for her itouch. She's also another temp staff, but we can crap a little together. hahas. And I'm so tempted to get an itouch with my work money. Was playing with Xiang's itouch yesterday at coffee bean and its fun and interesting. Will be able to keep me entertain for quite some time. And don't have to think too much. =PAnd now exploring the functions of Dawn's itouch. The music side. So interesting. Argh~ I'm tempted. Using the itouch makes me want to get 1. Though iphone sounds good too. Mainly, I want a device that allows me to access internet when I'm outside too. I shall think over it.
Note to self: Look up Jordin Sparks. I quite like her songs. Found them in Dawn's playlist.
At work, they calling me superwoman now. -.- Cause of my speed in data entry with the usage of the number keypad. I can type fast without looking at the screen or keypad. Oh well, they thought I went to train in that skill. -.- Maybe it will look nice in my resume next time. hahas! But they are funny and great when you get to know some of them. There's a few that I haven't seen since they are either on leave or on reservice. Will get to know them next week.Travelling to work is still quite okay, not boring as I've been watching the Hannah Montana series on my psp. Hahas~ Trixy passed the cds over. Including The suite life and also Sonny with a chance. Woots. Going to pass them back to her once I finished burning it out. heex
Later going to meet Joy to go to some place for discussion for the youth. Sigh~ Hopefully it will be ok.
Don't think will be joining my secondary class peeps for the class gathering on sunday. Its far and kinda of lazy. Just want to nua at home and stone. Or my parents will grumble that I'm going out too often on sunday. =P I can't wait to go for Seiransai~ Yoshh!
Nothing much~ Shall edit if there's more I want to write about. Now just thinking about the paranoid feeling and the itouch thingy~ Hrmm.....
At workplace, was not feeling very talkative and was tired, partly cause of my sore throat. So guess, I gave off some aura or some 'dao' feeling to the new temp staff who just came. Oh well, when I'm not in my usual socialising mood, sometimes I will just come off like that. Their looks and stares towards me told me that I wasn't exactly very friendly. Guessing it might be my attitude towards the food and my words.
Don't really bother~ Still have lots of lunch together.Now currently typing in Notepad then transferring over to the blog later. Got tired of listening to my psp, so switched with Dawn for her itouch. She's also another temp staff, but we can crap a little together. hahas. And I'm so tempted to get an itouch with my work money. Was playing with Xiang's itouch yesterday at coffee bean and its fun and interesting. Will be able to keep me entertain for quite some time. And don't have to think too much. =PAnd now exploring the functions of Dawn's itouch. The music side. So interesting. Argh~ I'm tempted. Using the itouch makes me want to get 1. Though iphone sounds good too. Mainly, I want a device that allows me to access internet when I'm outside too. I shall think over it.
Note to self: Look up Jordin Sparks. I quite like her songs. Found them in Dawn's playlist.
At work, they calling me superwoman now. -.- Cause of my speed in data entry with the usage of the number keypad. I can type fast without looking at the screen or keypad. Oh well, they thought I went to train in that skill. -.- Maybe it will look nice in my resume next time. hahas! But they are funny and great when you get to know some of them. There's a few that I haven't seen since they are either on leave or on reservice. Will get to know them next week.Travelling to work is still quite okay, not boring as I've been watching the Hannah Montana series on my psp. Hahas~ Trixy passed the cds over. Including The suite life and also Sonny with a chance. Woots. Going to pass them back to her once I finished burning it out. heex
Later going to meet Joy to go to some place for discussion for the youth. Sigh~ Hopefully it will be ok.
Don't think will be joining my secondary class peeps for the class gathering on sunday. Its far and kinda of lazy. Just want to nua at home and stone. Or my parents will grumble that I'm going out too often on sunday. =P I can't wait to go for Seiransai~ Yoshh!
Nothing much~ Shall edit if there's more I want to write about. Now just thinking about the paranoid feeling and the itouch thingy~ Hrmm.....
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