Summer has started and I'm filled with so many mixed feelings.

Happy, sad, lazy hyper, lonely, busy, bored~

Yea, you get it.

Was supposed to go out today but didn't manage to in the end. Only went for my driving lessons and came home. Was feeling nostalgic so I went to dig up some old stuff and it made me miss the old times. Times when I was so carefree and happy. And as I continued reading on, I could feel the troubles creeping on my self then and so on. If only we didn't have to grow up, if only, things could stay the way they were then..

But if they did remain as they were, there would be no growth. 

Thoughts like these were flying through my head for the past week. I think stoning at home and not having to work mentally is causing these thoughts. During these times, I yearn for someone to just give me a hug, pat my head and tell me that everything is gonna be alright. Just like when you're a kid and your parents used to do that. But I guess at this age, it's kinda of hard. We can't just dream anymore, but it is time to start working hard and change these dreams into reality. 

I guess, with that being said, I need to start finding things to occupy myself to prevent my brain from wandering aimlessly and lest I delve deeper into the past and start living in it again. 

Alright! I can't wait for next week to arrive! Because there's gonna be..

.

.

.

AVENGERS!!! 

Woohooo!~

And I'm proud to say that I've packed up majority of my room! Looks so much neater! And at the same time, I've found some awesome old goodies! Shall share them in the next post~ =D

Time for my drama time! Enjoy the upcoming weekend! Jaa~

Life seldom goes the way you want it to.

Supposed to be an happy post about Natsu Matsuri 2010 but then, stuff happened.

Been thinking about life a lot recently and after a week of uni, feels like, sometimes, you just can't help screaming 'LIFE IS FREAKING UNFAIR!'

When I was on the MRT earlier, I actually wrote a note on my iTouch about how I feel about 'Love' and what I think it actually is.

Then, I found out something upon reaching home and it just punched the spirits out of me.

Though it is just a mere 2 days and 1 night, I guess this was the last straw for me. It feels like time is always clashing. Time seems to be slipping out of my hands recently and I'm afraid it that what I cherished will slip away from me too.

Bad things just seem to flowing once it starts. Sometimes, I feel so swamped up, mentally.
Guess it's time to sort out my priorities.

Maybe it's the exhaustion from 1st week of school.

Just wished at times I could do a 'Kage Bunshin' like in Naruto and maybe my time management will be better.

But then again, more people would not want to see more 'me' I guess.

Okie, this is just me talking crap. My brain is a little dead and I need more cheering up so I gotta go into zen mode to clear my head.

Maybe more next time.

Curiousity killed jO

Okay, I was just kidding about the title above. I'm not dead yet.

Anyway, finally had a little talk with him about the issues that were hanging around and bothering the both of us. I thought that things were taking a better turn after Sunday, however, I guess the trials are still ongoing.

With this talk, it cleared up some of my questions but at the same time, it created an even bigger and scarier doubt. One that I wish not to have.

Hopefully a few weeks later or even sooner (I hope), things can finally come to a close and we will be able to move on further.

On the way back and reaching home, just started to bawl again. Luckily, only my dog was there to hear my screams. Hahax. Poor her. After random thinking, I start to wonder if I've been inflicted with a curse or so. But that's just foolish thinking. Hahax. Guess I better get to sleep soon. Tomorrow is just a presentation and out with Shanice and Clinton again.

I really pray and hope that things will turn for the better soon. The new year is not getting to a good start. Sigh~

Lousy..

Feeling lousy now..

Guess I finally realised what was the last piece to my extra emo-ness this year. I meant last year.

I'm glad that 2010 is here and I'm looking forward to lots of things. Though I know I've left behind lots of them in 2009, but they are memories. Memories that will be kept with me. Be it happy events like knowing the F4 family, studies and CAF 2009 or unhappy events like the departures of both my grandmothers and the feeling like I've lost part of my life which is not just due from their departures, I've really learnt a lot.

Now that I've realised the final piece of my emo-ness, guess it's time that I have to take action. I've been in a daze for too long.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to lots of things this new year! Like my graduation, possible trip to China & HK and this year will probably be the year where I decide where I'll be the next few years, work or study.

Yeaps~ I hope I will learn and grow more too because I know that I'm still childish at times and to be able to control and manage my emotions better.

Just had my 1st bawl of the year. Guess it helps me vents out my feelings that I was bottling inside for quite sometime.

Ahhh~
Now I feel like some stone has been lifted off and I feel much more like myself~ =)

Can't wait for things to start rolling. I'm gonna need strength (more of the emotional side) to accomplish what I hope to.

Yoshh~!! Time for me to sleep as I've promised Xiang Min to sleep before 2am and its 1.48am now. Nights! XDD

End of 2009

2009 is finally coming to an end.

Lots of things happened and be it whether it was pleasant or not, it's been a learning experience for me. And I can firmly say that I'm still learning, on my way to reach the goal I want for my life.

Well, after Xmas floated by quickly this year, I reflected on the past year and I guess I became a bit grouchy. Ok, maybe not a bit. Anyway, by the countdown party tomorrow, I'll be back to my usual self with my new resolutions that I hope to keep. Whahahaha!

Sorry for worrying those around me and thanks for the concern. Heex.
The crazy trip today with Kim and Chicken Chiang today helped me loads too~ Miss the time back then too. Hahas.

Okaaay, wanted to do a nice happy post but guess I'm still not really in the mood so till next year~!

Enjoy the last of 2009 and...

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

O_O

I feel so crappy now. I should be sleeping but I can't. Lots of thoughts are flowing through my head now. Why why why! I want to get rid of it, get rid of all these thoughts. Get rid of the rules that are stopping me. Everything! URGH!

Feeling kinda of upset and emo I guess. Trying to fall asleep but to no avail. Tomorrow's the day where I leave for P.Ubin till Wednesday.

And I guess I won't be able to spend Christmas' Eve at XM's house. Thanks to my DAD!! Who changed his mind again. Urghh!

All for now. Hates hates hates me and my thoughts now. ARGHHH!!!

*emo post*

Hope.

Rain rain go away~ Come again another day~

'Hope' can make the fall be much greater.

Am I Wrong?

Here I am, confused once more.

Am I wrong?

If I am, tell me.

I rather be told I'm wrong then to be left feeling confused about matters.

Work..

Sigh~

Feeling bit disappointed and slightly upset now. Work work work..

Currently feeling a tinge of sadness along with emo-ness.

Won't be able to see him before he flies....

And am afraid that it might be more than just 1 day.

And yes, I'm being very pessimistic now. I'll feel better later on and start to hope.

Feels like I'm getting influenced by Emily.

Weekend ________________.

At work still. Will upload pictures when I get home. Hopefully I'll be cheered up by then and feeling happy again.

...

Can't sleep thus was thinking through some stuff. Kinda feel depressed and upset lately. But oh well~ I gotta fight it off. I shall~ Once I 'emo' this night away. Or should I say, morning.

Just wanna stone and emo for now. I shall go watch some old dramas now.

I'll be back to usual at 9am.. Not sure how long it will last. But it will probably last till I reached home at least.

Sometimes, I wished that when I close my room's door, its like closing the whole world out. I do wish that at times. But, its impossible. If I really do that, I would have tons of people knocking at it and see a pile of work for me to do when I finally open it. So yea.

Let me just 'emo' for now.

A not-so-good-day

Been feeling kinda of moody the whole day. Didn't feel like talking much. Had a CAF meeting in the morning which was pretty ok. After that, Danny, Trixy, Jia Hui, BT and I went for ice-cream @ Swensens and shopping at Junction 8. Mainly was BT buying clothes. All of a sudden, my back started to hurt again. Been so long since it hurt. It felt like there was an elastic band holding my back and it feels like I gotta bend and snap/crack it in order to set it back to normal. It acted up when we were at Swensens. Tried to adjust my back to the seat. Felt slightly better then it hurt again after walking for a while. Crap! I hate it.

Anyway, we were joined by Steve, KK, Eileen and Zhi Sen (kor) for a movie @ AMK. Was watching Land of the Lost. Its a mindless movie. A little draggy for me. However I got freaked out at a few parts. Ugh~ I gotta start to overcome my fear of 'horror' stuff. Yea, maybe I should start watching horror shows and take it as a form of entertainment. I wish~

Currently listening to 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus. Feeling kind of down now. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to smile again like usual soon~ =) I must stop emo-ing tmr! Think happy thoughts.
Hopefully this wednesday and thursday will allow me to relax and cheer up~ Planning to go Underwater world, musical fountain, skyride and luge! And shopping @ Vivo of course.

Off for now. byebye. Kinda of hard to conjure up any happy thoughts now.

Retail Therapy

Yes, I went for retail therapy today instead of ice-cream. (though I still ate ice-cream cake today)

Well, went to shop around FEP today with Eileen. Practically walked all the levels and the 'small streets'. Actually wanted to get school bags for each of us but just couldn't find the ones that we are interested in. Eileen is still only interested in the Zinc bag but I want to look around more. Its GSS afterall.
In the end, we got a tee each after walking for so long. I'm happy with my tee. Its bright and colourful~ Hahas. Too bad the other tee I wanted is OOS. Argh! My shoes also have a hole at the bottom of it. Shoe shopping soon! GSS! XDD Oh yea, my online stuff arrived too. So many of the stuff are OOS. Rah! That added to my unhappy mood. D=

I'm not in a good mood these few days. No matter how hard I try to deny or hide it even from myself, I still end up feeling irritated and short-tempered. Don't really want to talk to people too. Maybe its all the horrible confusion that's been accumulating. Freak! I don't wish for myself to be so moody. Thank goodness I went for retail therapy. At least that lighten my mood. Practice made me forget about any mood. Dinner too. But I guess, tomorrow will be a bad day for me. Sigh. I'm looking forward to friday now.

Get out of this crappy phase fast fast! I don't want and like a moody irritated me!
Maybe its just the tiredness talking. Too much reports these few days. I should sleep early then.
Nites!~ Bah!