tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40554465741960976852024-03-19T11:08:38.675+08:00The Ups & Downs of jOUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger388125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-43255836982274058822013-10-02T10:01:00.002+08:002013-10-02T10:03:36.012+08:00Post Wedding FeelingsJust attended my brother's wedding and though I'm not very close to him now as I once was, I'm glad that he finally found someone to set up a family with. During the wedding, I can't help but think about how I would like mine to be in the future, if ever given the chance. It totally helps that I have loads of relative & friends asking me when will it be my turn. My best answer that night was "Remember, my brother and I have an eight years gap, Ask me 8 years later." Bwahahaha! The look on their faces were hilarious.<br />
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Which girl doesn't dream of her own wedding? No idea. But I do, and I wonder if I'll ever have a chance to realize this event of mine. How I want things to take place, the kind of dresses I want, the bridesmaids, the games to play, the videos and many more. Most girls would have their dream wedding planned ages ago, but for me, who love events & weddings, the urge to plan it, to encounter all the chaos that comes with it is even much more. Maybe I can consider the route of a wedding planner. Heh~<br />
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But yes, my wedding, if any. Would I ever have a chance to plan my own? I guess, marriage to me now is out of the question. Rather, the kind of wedding I want ain't possible. And the reasons why I want a wedding now are totally superficial. I just want the pomp and the flare~ Not really just that but the rest are non-applicable. So it's impossible. But yea, even though it seems impossible, a girl can dream ya. <br />
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Pfft~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-56306580103604200382013-08-27T00:16:00.000+08:002013-08-27T00:16:07.064+08:00ComplicatedYea, what a generic and cliche title post I have up there. But indeed, I'm starting to feel that my life is starting to be more complicated. And there are times where I have no idea what I want. That might sound like the total opposite of me, seeing that I usually lay out my goals straight down. I have no idea why I'm feeling this moody today or frustrated. Maybe it's the 'curse' that I deemed that I have, or perhaps I'm doing some contradicting actions in my life. And there's this question that keeps lingering in my mind. What was I doing a year back? 2 years back. 3 years and even 4 years ago? Why this period? I guess Natsu period has always been one of excitement. Especially the post period. Without fail, there's always something there.<br />
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I really hope the 'curse' won't follow through this time. It's really kinda of tiring to go through just that quite a few times. I say that but yet I do something against it.<br />
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I guessed I'm pretty tired and am mumbling on. Which is a sign I should sleep soon. And yeaps. Just wanted to blogged out a little of what I'm feeling.<br />
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Good night and may I find the route I wish to take in life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-5851361260686636562013-06-18T03:00:00.001+08:002013-06-18T13:46:49.448+08:00Marriage?What is marriage to you? Is it a process of life? Why do you set it as a process of life? Is it due to the fact that in Singapore, if you aren't married, you can't bid for your own apartment? If that's the case, are you marrying for the sake of a property?<br />
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Maybe you might say that it's a lifelong commitment & with marriage, it binds your partner to you. But if two parties know their own relationships & are committed to each other for the long haul, do you really need a piece of legal paper to 'bind' you? Besides, with the increasing divorce rates, it ain't that binding after all. I do have comments from people, usually females, saying that once they are married, their partner wouldn't 'run away' or go astray. Really? How do you explain affairs & those cheating websites? If someone is really going astray, it doesn't matter if he/she is in a marriage or not. </div>
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People judge. If you aren't married by a certain age, the society sees you as in a different light. A negative one at that. Your family will change from asking you about your future plans & start whispering both in front & behind your back. But the question here is, are you going to let yourself be pulled along by others? Do they know what's truly best for you? Better than yourself? Think again. </div>
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I know I sound really cynical here and that I'm anti-marriage but really, no. I love weddings. I get all sappy at movie weddings and I used to think of the different kinds of wedding I could have. Beach, garden, Disney, etc. I was just like any other girl who dreamed of her Prince Charming who will one day sweep her off her feet. However, life opened my eyes along with reality. There's no one sweeping me off my floor except my dad whenever my room is dusty. </div>
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Despite reality's harsh lessons, I still dream of getting a proposal I'll never forget (positively I hope) & my dream wedding. What's my dream wedding? Just a ceremony with my man. To see if there is any change in his eyes when he sees me when I'm the most beautiful, that I'll supposedly ever be, in my life. Along with an unique wedding ceremony. But I guess I won't really mind if I don't get my marriage. Cos to me, if my man is going to run, he will run. Even if he is legally bound to me. My marriage is just for my man to fulfill my childhood fantasies (vice-versa) & for him to be my Prince Charming. And most importantly, to enter a mutual commitment to each other. </div>
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Of course marriage has its 'perks' & necessities. Besides getting the right to bid for an apartment & smirking at nosy relatives, it paves the way to have a family easier & cause no confusion for your kids, if any. Kids.. That's a topic for another day.</div>
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I guess, in the end, after 6 paragraphs, all I wanted to say is, know why you're getting married. Or why you're putting marriage as a step in your life. Don't do it for the wrong reasons. I know people will probably think I do not have enough personal experiences to speak of such stuff but I think I've seen a fair bit around me. Enough for questions to form in my head. To the readers of this article, I wish you a future you desire. </div>
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Jo</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-55938667755623999362013-03-28T15:42:00.001+08:002013-03-28T15:42:30.261+08:00A means to an end?Maybe its the exposure to the many different ethical views of people..<br />
Maybe I'm tired of people treating me for granted..<br />
Maybe I'm sick of getting disappointed by people<br />
Maybe I'm just worn out from being an alternative.<br />
Maybe I'm irritated by all the double standards<br />
Maybe I'm exhausted with all the secrets<br />
Maybe I'm tired of feeling<br />
Maybe, just maybe, it's better to be alone.<br />
No attachments, no expectations, no feelings, no disappointments, no rules, no hellos, no farewells, just nothing.<br />
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Yea, that sums up how I'm feeling these few days. Is it that hard, that painful to have what I yearn for? Perhaps it's only this difficult 'cos its me? I truly meant what I said up there. I'm really tired of feeling. If only there is some miraculous drink or treatment which I can partake and kill all feelings in me, would I feel happier? Guess I wouldn't know as all feelings in me would have died. But one thing I'm sure of, I wouldn't feel any pain, disappointments, sadness or give a shit about what anyone thinks or expects of me. That feels like an ideal world for me now. But I can't go there, can I?<br />
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The closest thing I can get to it now is death. And it feels so welcoming, so tempting.<br />
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I know this is an emo shitty post but yea. I just want to crawl into a dark deep hole, huddle my knees around my chest and cover the hole up. No one is to enter. No one is able to hurt me then. No pain will be able to penetrate it. After I've recovered and am feeling stronger, I'll climb back up again, on my own. And then, the world may once again use me as they wish to. But for me, let me be shut in my hole.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-60172724560400409772013-03-02T11:47:00.000+08:002013-03-02T11:47:26.663+08:00Circle of LifeSounds familiar? Lion king is one of my favourite Disney movies. Love all 3 movies! But yea, circle of life. I saw something this morning when I woke up. It was the full final ending of my favourite Chinese Drama: 步步惊心. They finally released their 'full' version. The drama was adopted from a chinese online novel and the original ending was.. shall I spoil? Oh, whatever. Spoiler Alert!<br /><br />The original ending of the novel was that when Ruo Xi died in the Qing Dynasty, she really died. But in the drama, they revived her back to the 21st century when she 'died'. And of course, she met the modernized Yong Zhen who couldn't recognize her. Heart-wrenching I tell ya. I think for the last few episodes, I was just bawling my eyes out. Like seriously bad. So for the full ending they released a few days ago, it was revealed that the car accident which caused Ruo Xi to travel back in time, is due to Si Ye's driving. So ya, it feels like a circle. It was 'Si Ye' who brought her to Qing Dynasty, and through all those situations. And they fell for each other. But in the end, their love was so strong, that they burned each other. He wanted to protect her from all harm by getting rid of any that pose a threat to her but alas, he burned her too.<br />
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This is what I typed on Facebook after watching and crying:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">原来.. 最总,是这样。是个圈。一场悲'爱'剧。四爷和若曦,两人如此相爱但又不能在一起。醒来就看到这,眼泪就又再开始流了。真绞心。</span><br />
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Yea, I still tear. Even at their new MV. Sigh. Today is the 1st day of the filming for the sequel. Praying it'll be good and I'm going to stalk their weibo! =D<br />
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So kinda of made me think, there is always cause and effect in everything we do. Just like Cloud Atlas. I really like that show too. Awesome show!<br /><br />Sigh, alright, leaving a little down and all 'cos of the 2 BBJX videos I watch today. The ending is just too bittersweet. Hoepfully the sequel, will be alright. :)<br />
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Enjoy the weekend ahead!~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-67423323589872760382013-03-02T01:23:00.000+08:002013-03-02T01:23:30.904+08:00Relieved.. SortaYea, feeling relieved that maybe after letting my blog rot off and sink into the depths of dust bunnies, no one will bother to read it and its easier for me to blog freely. I guess today's post will be more like a rant I guess.<br />
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Or maybe just something I observe.<br />
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I dislike being normal. Perhaps the word 'common' is more appropriate. I love bright colours, colours that just stand out. I guess one of the reasons why I like pink is 'cos not a lot of people like to admit they do or rather shun away from pink. But I like it, it's an happy colour. Same goes for red. Never really a person to go for mainstream stuff. Especially when it comes to dressing or bags or shoes. I like something different. I want to be different. Can it be considered attention seeking? Maybe? But I'm not exactly craving for people to idolize me. Or even wanting. I don't think its so much of that assurance from others for me but more of my own opinion and feelings.<br />
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I had a really low self esteem when I was young. Always felt that there's no point in trying hard as in the end, I'm just huddled away like the rest while the privileged will just ascend to their pedestals. And somehow I'm always friends with the '<i>privileged'. </i>Do note that I say this with an open heart and jestingly. Gotta admit that I did envy these people who seem to have everything. But as I got to know them better, I realized that life ain't a bed of roses for them. But then again. when is life a bed of roses. Thorns, yea.<br />
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When you envy someone, you tend to follow their actions or dressing to be more like them, in order to achieve what they have. But in the end, it's different. You may think you have achieved it but in the end, who are the people that you're trying to please accepting? Ok, that last sentence sounded a little confusing so hope you get it. I had to spend some time thinking if that made sense. Think it did. If you follow others and get accepted, you're just giving the world a clone of someone else. The people who accept you then, are they truly accepting you? Are you accepting yourself? I wasn't. I dislike myself.<br />
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But in the end, after lots of <i>Ups & Downs, </i>I gradually found myself and start accepting it. It isn't easy. We're all flawed. And it isn't easy looking at others '<i>perfect</i>' lives, but it isn't so perfect you know. It may seem like they're living The Life when we view it through their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.. but that's what they most probably want others to see. Not saying it's wrong. I do that too. It's just that, we tend to post the highlights of our lives, the interesting stuff.<br />
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Ok, think I have side-tracked quite a little. Where did the rant I had in mind ran off too? The rant that ran away. =.=<br />
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Oh yea. So I mentioned that I don't really like mainstream stuff, and as the people around me will know, I can't handle being restrained. And I need adrenaline in my life. So yea, I like to dress up, I like to take pictures of me. I prefer taking my own pictures and I still feel kinda of awkward when posing for others. I like pretty and cute things. I try to mix my styles and all. Of course I'm no genius. I think I suck at art. Ok, cancel the thinking. I suck at art. I'm no fashion designer. I browse magazines, tv programs and whatsnot for fashion advice, yada yada yada. But I don't follow blindly. I know me. I might not know expertly what suits me externally/physically but I know what suits me inside. Sporty? Chic? Pinky? Demure? Grunge? I know what I feel like on specific days and that often set the mood for my attire or so.<br />
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Never one to fix on just a specific style.<br />
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So I like to think I have my own style. And I feel it's different from usual? At least slightly? And by own style, I meant when I do make the effort to dress up. On lazy days or school days, I'm usually just in my usual shorts & tees. And I feel my own style is not just limited to my attire but my attitude and the way I do things around me.<br />
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Ahh, coming to the main point now. Maybe I shall be blunt and just blurt it out.<br />
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I dislike it when others copy my style.<br />
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Copy might be too harsh a word. How bout 'follow'? I'm not saying that I have a throng of followers but it's just something I dislike. A few or even just one person doing that is enough to get on my nerves. And I seriously doubt I'll ever get my own fan-base.<br />
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Do you ever get those situations or moments that when you first started doing/wearing/loving something that wasn't part of the mainstream but after a while, everyone around you seems to be doing/wearing/loving it? I have. Not saying that I brought around the change. Goodness no, I ain't that capable. But maybe social channels brought it up a lot and people start to only take notice then and suddenly, boosh! It's an 'In Thing'. Like dramas or styles, etc. Bah!<br /><br />Or maybe someone actually did follow your actions and whatsnot. Not sure about you but I find it pretty irritating at times.<br />
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Of course, as girls, there is the situation of someone wearing the same outfit as you and all of a sudden, the space around y'all darkens considerably. Most of the time. If not planned.<br />
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Among my friends, we have similar outfits or even the same outfit but I don't really mind. Because I know they have their own way of wearing it and I have mine. There's often the situation where my friends will ask me if I mind them getting the same clothing item as me or vice-versa. And I really don't mind. Note: <i>Friends</i><br />
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But when it's not my <i>friends,</i> or perhaps not my close friends, I get slightly irritated. Or more. Sometimes I just get the feeling that it's been violated. Whatever the subject is. Not that I'm the creator of it but still. There's just this URGH feeling in me. And most of the time, I get so turned off that I just give up on it till the 'fad' or the copying is over before bringing back in. Unless it's something I hold dear, then I'll probably fight with my dear life. Whatever that means in different situations.<br />
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So yea, I thought it would be a really short post with me just ranting a little but I guess I just had to explain and poof! The words just kept coming and it churned out a not-so-short post.<br /><br />Still feeling a little irked by some recent incidents which caused this post but then again, I just 'gave up' on it. Not really something I love so it's alright. I'll go back to it when it more or less dies off.<br />
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But just a little something. Call it my pride or ego talking. When I do/wear something, it's usually something I'm confident of so I'm pretty sure I do/wear it much better than most people who just follow or catch on later. Take that!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-25865266782056905312013-03-01T02:54:00.000+08:002013-03-02T01:24:13.913+08:00Sometimes..Sometimes I wish that I weren't so perceptive. Ain't that observant. And maybe even sharp-minded. 'Cos then, the pain, troubles & worries that come my way will probably lessen. Then perhaps, I wouldn't be blogging this at 2am through my phone whilst lying on my bed, trying to sleep.<br />
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Ever had those moments where you know that if you do not sleep in the next few minutes, you're gonna be so screwed the next day but yet your mind just refuse to stop working. Well, having this situation now. The wheels in my mind just keep turning & screwing. Not sure if that's a good thing. I have less than 5 hours before I need to prepare for work tomorrow but right now, my mind is going: "Hah! Did you realize ...-blank-...? And by the way, maybe it was yada yada yada~"<br />
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Yea, obviously I won't bore you with what is actually screwing my mind now. Hah!<br />
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I feel that I'm not a smart person. Smartass, maybe. But I would say I catch on pretty well. Better than what I actually like at times. Sometimes, I just wish I didn't know. That I didn't see it, or hear it or just, know it. And what really sucks is when people try so hard to cover it up? And then you see <i>everything. </i><br />
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And that's when doubts are raised which lead us to this post. Bah!<br />
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I wish that is an 'Off' button for my mind. Just switch it off & fall into a deep slumber.<br />
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Alright, I shall attempt to find a switch & fix it now.<br />
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Try to have a good sleep people~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-84382752329481869212013-02-27T15:46:00.002+08:002013-02-27T15:48:30.933+08:00Once again..Yeaps, you saw it right. I'm back once again. And this time, let's just strip it bare. Just you & me. Words, words and more words. Call it laziness or tiring, all those old posts I wanted to blog about, mainly filled with pictures and all, are non-existent. I lost quite a bulk of photos last year when my baby Vaio crashed. And I only recovered 80gb worth of photos. I know that sounds like there's a lot of photos but trust me, there were more. So yea, after retrieving my photos, I didn't really went to sort them out. So good news, no backlog! Well, good news for me.<br />
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Had the urge this morning to revamp my blog. But after going through yet another meeting in school, I felt too lazy AND tired to do it. Since the last time I blogged, there were countless of times I wanted to blog but I felt suppressed. Restricted. So many things I wanted to say but yet, I can't. So many things I want to share, to shout to the world, to note it down for myself in this <i>personal</i> space of mine but I guess with technology now, it isn't really that personal anymore. And for people who tell me to just blog it all out, you peeps are nuts.<br />
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Suppression. It's a love-hate relationship for me. How many relationships have I blown up with that? Some I managed to salvaged but some.. It's my bad habit. Suppressing issues and all. Maybe I'm being too nice, or a coward or avoiding conflicts, whatever you call it, I do that. Just can't seem to stop myself. I try and I guess I did change a little but it's still really hard for me. But I'm wishing with all my might and strength that I won't blow up anymore relationships due to this bad habit. Note: Relationships =/= Boy-Girl Relationships.<br />
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I guess this is just a random post I decided to do so some random updates? Currently still studying, 1.5 more years to go. Bad & good news for me again. I got an HP Spectre XT to replace my Vaio. Going for an exchange to Vancouver UBC soon in June for a few months. Hmm, what other happenings? None really. I guess I'm a pretty boring person. Oh well, I accept that. Whahahaha!<br />
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I predict that after this post, I'll probably 'die' off the surface of this blog again and update like.. Ok. I don't really have an answer for that. Haha! But I guess I'll still be pretty active on the other social media channels like Twitter, Instagram and probably Facebook? iPhone is just handy. Oh yea! Currently addicted to Line Play. =X Guilty as charged. So kudos! Signing off!~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-8698998233127840412012-07-20T17:11:00.000+08:002012-07-20T19:13:57.439+08:00Chinese Songs~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yes, you did not read wrong. I'm sharing a Chinese song here. I've been listening to more Chinese songs since I started working. There are quite a few songs that I really like so here are two of them. Same title, but different artistes.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Both songs are titled 暗恋 which is secretly admiring or having a crush on someone. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here's 暗恋 by 陶喆.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/fY03f3P_xtE/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fY03f3P_xtE&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fY03f3P_xtE&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">暗恋 by 張智成 </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZZqf6jZQw50?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">May these songs bring the same bitter-sweet feelings to you as they have brought to me. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Upon returning to Singapore, I'm brought back to reality. I thought I cleared my thoughts when I was in Bangkok but apparently not. Going to bed is now like a double-edged sword. Before I actually fall asleep, I have to battle with my thoughts which are armed with sadness and pain. But when I finally conquer that, most of the time I get pleasant dreams as a reward.<br />
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However, in the end, it doesn't matter. 'Cos no matter how nice and how realistic the dream was, when the time comes, I wake up and realize, it was only just a dream. Ahh~<br />
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I want to travel again. I guess, only when I'm travelling, I'm able to put down these thoughts. I need to travel. It might not be the solution, but it is the painkiller for me now. (So 'cheesy' & cliche. Whahahaha!)<br />
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All in all, I need to travel soon. A short getaway seems lovely.<br />
Meh~</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-26251992970628808902012-07-02T20:17:00.001+08:002012-07-12T12:54:06.173+08:00I'm flying off!<div style="text-align: center;">
After months, weeks, days of countdown, I'm finally flying off to Bangkok tomorrow! </div>
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WOOHOOO! </div>
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Excited to the max for my trip this time round. Few reasons why I'm so hyped up. </div>
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1) I'm travelling again. (Duh) </div>
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I think I have been bitten by the travel bug since secondary school. One of my resolution is to travel to a new country every year, or a country that I love going back to. So this time, Bangkok is the place for me. Or it might be Taiwan for this December. </div>
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2) Travelling with my awesome sisters this time round! </div>
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Have known Xin Ru, Xin Yi & Xin Lei since we were kiddos. Though we have been friends/sisters for so long, we've never really been on a trip like this together! Xin Lei & I shall be lovely light bulbs this time round. Xin Ru's boyf is stationed in Bangkok while Xin Yi's boyf is also travelling with us. 2 couples & 2 single ladies. Never mind, Xin Lei shall be my temporary boyf. Whahaha! <span style="background-color: white;">Really l</span><span style="background-color: white;">ooking forward to spending time with them!</span><span style="background-color: white;">It's just too bad Joy & Jean couldn't join us this time round. But then, there will always be a next time ya!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">3) Bangkok = Shopping Paradise!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">YES! SHOPPING! I've kinda of cold turkey-ed myself from shopping for quite some time. So I have a feeling I might go crazy there. Hehe~ I'm bringing a really large EMPTY luggage there. So yea, gonna fill it to the brim. And if I don't shop, means I have no clothes to wear for the rest of the time I'm there. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">4) Away from family</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">As much as I adore my family, sometimes I just wish to get away from the dramas and nonsense. This 1 week will be a good time for me to recuperate and be more prepared for whatever stuff they have when I'm back. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">5) Some alone time away from..</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Yes, hopefully taking some time away and not being able to see some people will allow me to clear my head and know what I truly want. </span><span style="background-color: white;">'Nuff said.</span></div>
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So tadaa~ I have so many reasons to be excited about tomorrow! Muahaha! Oh! And I forgot to mention, Jas Ang and her boyf will also be travelling to Bangkok this week and we'll be flying back together. And my Penang cousin and her husband will be there too! Super coincidence and uh, yea. Light-bulb again. >.></div>
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Been feeling much happier recently. Maybe it's cos July is here and Natsu is gradually approaching. Means Yukata time! Eeeps! But I know the main reason why. I really feel love from my friends. My dear sisters and my dear 'family'. By this 'family', I do not mean the ones from the No. 4 reasons. They are friends who I feel so thankful to God for putting them in my life. Really grateful to have them. </div>
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I know that in the month of June I have worried quite a few people. People from all different stages of my life in one way or another. I'm sorry if I couldn't speak to you much especially about why I was downcast. I know that maybe just by telling your troubles to others might relieve the burden from my shoulders but I just couldn't do it. I'm really thankful for the concern you guys gave. And I want to thank God for placing this good buddy of mine back in my life. Really. And with this, I should really stop blogging and go settle my Bangkok itty-bitty details. Like printing the boarding pass and all. Jaa! Cya in a week's time! In the mean time, thanks to my friend's constant nagging and bargaining, I've signed up for Instagram in exchange for not bringing my camera to Bangkok. Username is JoXianna! Will be posting up goodies from Bangkok! </div>
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Byebye!</div>
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-83485536307280305822012-07-02T19:51:00.000+08:002012-07-02T19:51:03.593+08:00So many things to say..<div style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
Was contemplating for a few weeks whether to post this or not. After a talk with a really good buddy who reminded me to not be easily led around by emotions and to always have my brain with me, things became clearer in a certain aspect and I've decided to just take it as it is. But still, this was what that had been 'tormenting' my head in June, making me moodier than ever. But now, I'm feeling much better. So yea, this is just something that I really want to let it out of myself, and maybe, just maybe, put it behind me.<br />
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So many things to say yet I have no idea how or where to start. Fear grips me in the heart as I hesitate. It was not supposed to happen. I don't think I've ever felt so insecure in this aspect before. I have no idea what to do actually. A part of me fears the consequences and the response but against other alternatives, I'm not sure which will be the overall winner.</div>
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As a quote I've read recently, <i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"If you love someone, be brave to tell them, otherwise, be brave enough to watch them be loved by someone else. "</span></i></div>
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But what exactly is love? I wonder really.</div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"I'm not saying I'm in love. I'm just saying that lately, he's all I think about."</span></i></div>
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The feelings I have currently definitely exceeds the usual feelings I have for a friend but what exactly are they? Even for this quote, despite telling the person you love them, you might still have to watch them be loved or love someone else. It does not mean that everything will end happily after the confession. I wish it does. Pssft~</div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"I wanna tell you how I feel, but I'm scared. Scared of you not feeling the same and scared of falling harder."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"Maybe I'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person. You are everything I think about, everything I want."</span></i></div>
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I really am out of my wits. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm just head-butting the walls. Or just going straight into a trap knowingly.</div>
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Been mulling over this matter for quite some time. I did not want to face my feelings at 1st as I felt I could rid myself of it but it seems like the more I try, the harder it is.</div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"I think about you all the time. You're always on my mind. Yet I feel like there's nothing I can do about it."</span></i></div>
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So true. How many countless nights I've spent thinking of you. Thousands of dreams regarding you, regarding us. Sometimes, the dreams just feel so real that upon waking up, I wished so hard that it was real. That it was not a dream but reality. Alas, it wasn't.</div>
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Well, I guess I'll follow the motto as I've always done for this aspect. <i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"If its yours, its yours. If its not, no matter how hard you try, it will never be. "</span></i></div>
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Or maybe I should update it a little with a new quote too.</div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"If two people are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back."</span></i></div>
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And so I wonder if we're meant to be together. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-33801112380860459552012-06-27T23:59:00.002+08:002012-06-28T00:03:28.681+08:00Just a song that I wanna share~<div style="text-align: center;">
Kinda of like this song a lot. Came across this song when I was Youtube-ing. Sometimes I prefer these original songs that the Youtubers come up with due to the lyrics. For me, I really enjoy the the music, her voice and the lyrics. </div>
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Presenting - Baby, I Love You (Tiffany Alvord)</div>
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I started my birthday with tears and ended with it too.</div>
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No, I did not cry the whole day. There's a difference for those 2 tears-fest. </div>
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When the clock striked 12 midnight on 26th June 2012, I felt overwhelmed with sadness and just broke down sobbing. I just sat there and 'stoned' for a really long time before picking myself up and proceeding with my usual ac<span style="background-color: white;">tivities.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">And just, at 11.59pm on 26th June 2012, I started tearing again. This time, the tears came due to the happiness I felt in me. I felt so much love from my friends and without them, I wouldn't have as much fun to</span><span style="background-color: white;">day! </span></div>
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I really feel so blessed for having them in my life. I know I've said it on FaceBook and all but I just can't help it. Words just can't seem to express how grateful and blessed I feel towards them. </div>
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This is just a short post and I will update again soon about it~ I'm really tired now but I just feel the need to blog it out 1st! There is no better word to describe this moment than jubilant.</div>
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Kimberly, Sarah & Evangeline:<br /><a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/0bdIwwVLkZoiU7ImnzcZ1I3ImaDfWa2eaOgUsb-KSiY?feat=embedwebsite"><img height="299" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-MARoB2T-D_8/T-oCQCMG1pI/AAAAAAAAA8s/kbOUTVVXDX8/s400/IMG_7797.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Thank you to my dear girls for coming down. Despite your hectic schedules, you made time for me and I really appreciate it! We're all growing old and in a blink of an eye, we've known each other for almost 10 years. Thanks for always being there for me! </div>
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Danny, Trixy, Xiang Min, Sherwin, Kim Kai, Ban Theng, Wendy, Fook Yu & Steve.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTQAn4R-r-SSEtewXdEwFyKdJiTwzcwcmt1mLFFT2f6OLETK8OikxSzZOAu4QsJrn0GKJ_lHrE9dLvprfYPHcySPfaoikvcJgKbWQSevYv-lEC5sKyBxgjaWPEjRcEF-FWbfb6ias9iVi/s1600/IMG_7791.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: white; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTQAn4R-r-SSEtewXdEwFyKdJiTwzcwcmt1mLFFT2f6OLETK8OikxSzZOAu4QsJrn0GKJ_lHrE9dLvprfYPHcySPfaoikvcJgKbWQSevYv-lEC5sKyBxgjaWPEjRcEF-FWbfb6ias9iVi/s320/IMG_7791.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Thanks for coming down today! Really appreciate it and I really really feel so blessed and loved to have you people in my life. I'm really glad to have met you all and thanks for making this such a memorable and awesome day for me. Words really can't express how I feel but still, I'll try my best. May we have many more good years ahead of us! ^^<br /><br />That's all for now, I'll blog more in detail tomorrow I guess, if I'm not knocked out by tiredness. I think I might finally be able to sleep well, like finally. At least for tonight, I don't want to think so much and just sleep. </div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-44339494859864431992012-06-26T00:49:00.000+08:002012-06-26T00:50:49.552+08:00I wonder..<div style="text-align: center;">
Random short post.</div>
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Spend the last 5 minutes of my 21st year underneath my block. Decided not to go home yet. Mulling over certain stuff. Upon reaching home and after exchanging pleasantries with my parents, somehow, I just went straight to my room and watch the rain. </div>
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I don't know why but it just rained. It just did. Maybe it was too sunny earlier, too much vapor or whatsnot collected up in the sky. </div>
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Alrighty~ I shall have a good rest and look forward to the rest of the day. Cheerios~ =)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-53298408373942890842012-06-20T10:50:00.000+08:002012-06-20T10:50:03.097+08:00What am I doing?<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know. Truth to be said, I have no idea. Recently, I've realised how easily I can be affected by certain things or people in my life. Good or bad, I have no idea. Depends I guess. </div>
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Been feeling irritated at myself lately.Maybe it's the weather, the boredom, the upcoming even that reminds me of how old I am or maybe, just maybe, I'm blaming it on everything except that one 'THING'. In short, I believed I know the reason why I'm feeling irritated. Simply 'cos I feel useless for not being able to accomplish such an easy task. </div>
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And there I was, few months ago being all strong headed about independence and living well on my own and now, being pathetic, confused and upset. Over a person.</div>
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Yes, I'm mindless ranting but I decided to just try typing it out. I knew I had to do it after I couldn't sleep this morning and realised, "Damn, I'm really affected by these simple damn things!". </div>
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Sometimes, I just wish we can read what's going on in their minds, it might make things so much simpler. On the surface yes, but there are definitely serious consequences to bear if we really managed to do that. </div>
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All in all, I guess after writing this down and stuff, I'm still lying to myself about how or what I feel for that person. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-82548325899624842332012-06-04T01:15:00.001+08:002012-06-04T01:15:51.710+08:00Déjà Vu?<div style="text-align: center;">
Recently there's been quite a few changes going on in my life. Some new, some welcomed, some unexpected and somestuff that gave me a déjà vu feeling~</div>
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June, somehow my June are always filled with doubts and upset thoughts. Same goes for this June, it did not start well but I enjoyed myself thoroughly today. Going off for a short trip later on and I hope that this will be a trip where I get to relax myself and also clear up some thoughts. Wish me luck in this and I do hope I'll be able to update more when I'm back!</div>
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Catch you peeps soon! =D</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">YESSS!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'M SUPER DUPER EXCITED NOW!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">WHY WHY!?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'M GOING BACK TO PENANG IN JUNEEEEEEE!<br /><br />WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~</span><br /><br />Flying up to Penang early June with my Dad and then flying off to Taiwan with my Mum. And that's just for June! Don't forget my Bangkok Trip with the gals in July!~ Woohoooo~<br /><br />I so love travelling~ Going back to Penang always feel like I'm going back home in another way. Missing the food there so badly. Ban Theng & I will always talk about the delicacies with each other with a T^T face. And now, I finally get to go back there and enjoy~ Only 1 more month to go!</div>
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Though I went back last year, but as it was with friends, I did not really manage to visit my relatives there. And it's been a really long time since I went back to Penang with my Dad. We would often wake up really early just to go for breakfast and just hunt for good food. Ahhh~ </div>
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Alright, just wanted to write out my excitement or I doubt I'll be able to sleep~</div>
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PENANG!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-7012223555061635482012-05-10T00:39:00.001+08:002012-05-10T00:41:32.046+08:00Bon Voyage<div style="text-align: center;">
Summer has barely started and I'm bidding goodbyes to 3 of my dearest friends. </div>
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1) Joy who left for U.S on Monday for a month.</div>
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2) Zhi Sen who just flew off today for U.S for 3 months.</div>
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3) Kim who's flying off to Thailand tomorrow for 1.5 months. </div>
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Ahh~ All of them are flying off and I'm kinda of 'stuck' here till my overseas trip. </div>
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Went to the airport today with Ban Theng to send Zhi Sen off~</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSR3jKNpB_E3_ynZsinLj0EWfAGzH38EOQ23HPxe1O_wwvjPKG5qePaG0pU-E-ok0fgpxeulX-QLBzpv75CHww3Z1QOceKnYmtgprZXPp6zfKsCogqY3TSi8j23nNNBhIX0s98_O1aDGy_/s1600/IMG_7052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSR3jKNpB_E3_ynZsinLj0EWfAGzH38EOQ23HPxe1O_wwvjPKG5qePaG0pU-E-ok0fgpxeulX-QLBzpv75CHww3Z1QOceKnYmtgprZXPp6zfKsCogqY3TSi8j23nNNBhIX0s98_O1aDGy_/s320/IMG_7052.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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*sobs*<br />
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Here's wishing a safe trip for all of them and may they have a blast there! =D</div>
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Was planning to work till end of June for this summer to ensure I don't just idle my time away but then Dad proposed an idea - Family Trip in June. </div>
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To Taiwan. </div>
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So that kinda of puts a damper on my working plans. And he had to tell me that after I spent a whole week searching for jobs and going for countless interviews. Countless. >.></div>
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So yea, more or less confirmed going to Taiwan with my parents in June and off to Bangkok with my gals in early July. Not going to work this summer but instead, tie up all the loose ends.</div>
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Like for example, get my dmn driving license. Yea.. And clean up my room. It's 70% done. Just left with some cabinets and then it's time to clear my wardrobe. Create more space for my hauls from BKK. =P</div>
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But besides driving and cleaning up my room, I felt like going for some classes. Mum sorta asked me to continue learning Japanese while Dad asked me to go for some cooking class. =3=</div>
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Any recommendations? Am revising my old stuff online now. </div>
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So besides those 'boring' stuff said above, I've been busy with my movies, dramas and of course chillaxing with my friends. =D Shall share more about it next time but for now, my dreams are calling me. </div>
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Maybe more tomorrow~ Jaa!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-18641528762421404652012-04-27T16:59:00.005+08:002012-04-27T17:06:17.590+08:00What is your phobia?<div style="text-align: center;">
The title says it all.</div>
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What is your phobia?<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 15px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Phobia - An extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something</span>
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I'm pretty sure everyone has one. I think I have a phobia of scary/horror shows or books or anything related to it. I have no idea why but I just get freaked out by those stuff. Like those books my peers used to collect during our 'innocent' childhood days - 'Goosebumps'.</div>
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I love reading and one day, I decided to read one of them and boy, horrible mistake! I couldn't sleep for a few nights. I actually crawled into my grandma's bed and huddled next to her till the next morning. And I was 11 or 12 at that time? *shudders*</div>
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So I know, those books aren't for me. And then there was this time where my family had the tradition of decorating our Christmas tree together and during decoration, we would normally just switch on the TV. The show that we were watching together was a live-action of Kindaichi or at that time, I knew it as <span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16px;">金田一</span>. When we were done decorating and it was time for me to go to bed, part I of the show ended. And I had to wait till next week to know what was the ending. FREAK!! I had to spend 1 week thinking of the ending and I remembered it was pretty scary for me as murders were involved within a group of friends who were out camping or so. Needless to say, I spent that 1 week curled up with my grandma again. >.></div>
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And even after I watched the ending and knew that the murders were committed by some crazed human or so, I was still convinced that someone or something out there was gonna grab me. Pssft. I guess, the position I sleep in now is probably due to this incident. </div>
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As you can see, I dread horror shows or books. Along with that, I dislike clowns and dolls. Not Barbie dolls but those dolls with creepy realistic looking eyes. URGH! Whenever trailers of these type of shows pop up in the cinemas, I would just close my eyes and cover my ears, well, to the best that I can.<br />
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And obviously I would not go watch an horror show willingly. OBVIOUSLY! But there are still people who try to persuade me to go along with them. And for them, I usually compromise by saying that if they fulfill 3 requirements, I'll go along.</div>
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So what are these 3 requirements?</div>
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1) Pay for my ticket in. (No way am I gonna pay for something which I have no interest in)</div>
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2) Buy me enough popcorn and drinks to last me for the entire show. (I need something to entertain myself.)</div>
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3) Bring blanket, earmuffs and something cuddly for me to hug during the show. (Yeaps, that's the main thing, I'll be huddled under the blankie, happily munching the food and being oblivious to what's going on.)</div>
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BEST! Hahahaha!</div>
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Ridiculous requirements right? But that's what you need to do in order to get me into a horror show.</div>
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Till today, I've only been into the cinema ONCE to watch an horror show. And apparently it wasn't really an horror show but more of a comedy-mixed-horror movie. =.= I remember the title of the show was 'Drag Me To Hell.' and I guess it did for that hour or so. =3=<br />
But the 1st two requirements were fulfilled I think, the last one was kinda of tweaked I guess. No blankie or earmuffs but there was something for me to grip on to when I was scared out of my wits. </div>
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I doubt my heart can take it~</div>
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So why the sudden talk of phobias?</div>
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Well, yesterday I was watching an 'horror' show. It was kinda like the <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">金田一 </span>show I mentioned before but the ending was..... There's no ending yet. T^T So after the show last night, I wrapped myself in my blankie and didn't dare to get out of my room. Even when I wanted to go to the toilet. To make things worse, there was a really strong wind at that time and I could hear the door 'Kong. Kong. Kong.'!! Like there was someone there! Oh gosh, I tried so desperately to shut my eyes and force myself to sleep but to no avail. Only after much praying and keeping my mind off that darn show, I managed to. No grandma for me to hug this time round. </div>
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So moral of the story, do not watch an horror or similar show at night... alone.</div>
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For me at least. Hahaha! Though I learn through psychology that it is possible to overcome your phobia during conditioning but I think I'll just go with the other way - Avoidance. =P</div>
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So what are your greatest fears or phobias? I know there are some weird phobias like<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> <span style="line-height: 22px;">Melophobia (fear of music), or Arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. =.=) or even Panophobia which is the fear of everything. Yea, I know right. o.O</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">I know there's this disgusting photo where a girl had like hundreds of holes on her arms and it kinda of 'test' whether you have the fear or phobia of small holes of something. And that photo was just bugging my mind that entire day. Urgh! And now, maybe it's in your mind too. =P</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px;">To take your mind off that, here's some pictures of Lassie with her favourite blankie. =D</span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF8MRN3qzFkueDkRRdFJtdUqbhu0weuEwYi_w8k5J6-4joFlq1J-j8mye8P-mohbRSGMK3xRPr3XugMnmmfSDjUqNDL8m1kGR-kNi_bDBiKlRTjbcstS-d-Qa_vtMhp102O4dNeTk1Onlf/s1600/IMG_6222%5B1%5D.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF8MRN3qzFkueDkRRdFJtdUqbhu0weuEwYi_w8k5J6-4joFlq1J-j8mye8P-mohbRSGMK3xRPr3XugMnmmfSDjUqNDL8m1kGR-kNi_bDBiKlRTjbcstS-d-Qa_vtMhp102O4dNeTk1Onlf/s320/IMG_6222%5B1%5D.PNG" width="239" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ksUyyfNtCt_wVwokBKqBPzWlZ2RwuQ29mZTxRmQqgAUpiIVdh6tws1En084qk4pfd1a_N2LOizxQOzTLTHwKKLiN2xHJWnCx72daPvkWBWPW-2IWncNq8BFspirYE4MfEpQXv5wUOH-g/s1600/IMG_6223%5B1%5D.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ksUyyfNtCt_wVwokBKqBPzWlZ2RwuQ29mZTxRmQqgAUpiIVdh6tws1En084qk4pfd1a_N2LOizxQOzTLTHwKKLiN2xHJWnCx72daPvkWBWPW-2IWncNq8BFspirYE4MfEpQXv5wUOH-g/s320/IMG_6223%5B1%5D.PNG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrVPPKtuJSrYu-XiGTxitBvlYrmglmvu8ugL9xQRlPPqNNYJZl2eDJ5U7Xwg-sojbXS3NaVkS1St3Eu6dQcAg8X6ac3i0G7lpsPoK9s7NTDLHSjtbLscjx1deMU0xV5ujTLufeQxrZsh_4/s1600/IMG_6221%5B1%5D.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrVPPKtuJSrYu-XiGTxitBvlYrmglmvu8ugL9xQRlPPqNNYJZl2eDJ5U7Xwg-sojbXS3NaVkS1St3Eu6dQcAg8X6ac3i0G7lpsPoK9s7NTDLHSjtbLscjx1deMU0xV5ujTLufeQxrZsh_4/s320/IMG_6221%5B1%5D.PNG" width="239" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-90660663517825455532012-04-26T21:58:00.001+08:002012-04-26T21:58:33.472+08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
Summer has started and I'm filled with so many mixed feelings.<br /><br />Happy, sad, lazy hyper, lonely, busy, bored~<br /><br />Yea, you get it.<br /><br />Was supposed to go out today but didn't manage to in the end. Only went for my driving lessons and came home. Was feeling nostalgic so I went to dig up some old stuff and it made me miss the old times. Times when I was so carefree and happy. And as I continued reading on, I could feel the troubles creeping on my self then and so on. If only we didn't have to grow up, if only, things could stay the way they were then..<br /><br />But if they did remain as they were, there would be no growth. </div>
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Thoughts like these were flying through my head for the past week. I think stoning at home and not having to work mentally is causing these thoughts. During these times, I yearn for someone to just give me a hug, pat my head and tell me that everything is gonna be alright. Just like when you're a kid and your parents used to do that. But I guess at this age, it's kinda of hard. We can't just dream anymore, but it is time to start working hard and change these dreams into reality. </div>
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I guess, with that being said, I need to start finding things to occupy myself to prevent my brain from wandering aimlessly and lest I delve deeper into the past and start living in it again. </div>
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<br />Alright! I can't wait for next week to arrive! Because there's gonna be..</div>
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AVENGERS!!! </div>
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Woohooo!~</div>
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And I'm proud to say that I've packed up majority of my room! Looks so much neater! And at the same time, I've found some awesome old goodies! Shall share them in the next post~ =D<br /></div>
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Time for my drama time! Enjoy the upcoming weekend! Jaa~
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-36562539196963988422012-04-16T23:59:00.000+08:002012-04-26T11:08:04.204+08:00Worrying as usual.<div style="text-align: center;">
I gotta be crazy, blogging at a time like this. But truth to be said, my brain is mentally exhausted from all the squeezing and stuffing of information. </div>
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Just needed to let out some thoughts here. My resolve seems to be weakening. I do hope it can continue to be strong. At this point of time, the one I can look to for help is the Lord. He knows what's best for me though I gotta admit, sometimes I'm lost as to what and where He wants me to go. </div>
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Like the saying goes, it is easier said than done. Especially for this particular mind boggling thing that is currently running throughout my head. </div>
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I thought I could do it, but judging from how things are now, my confidence is shaking. I don't think I can. I don't think I've ever felt so uncertain in this 'genre' in my life. </div>
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But then again, I might be thinking/worrying too much. Maybe I really do need to seek some 'help' as what my test suggested. LOL! I shall just stick to my usual quote.<br />
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<i><span style="color: purple;">What's yours will be yours. What's not yours, no matter how hard you try, it will never be yours. Because it was never meant to be.</span></i><br />
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Time for my experimental sleep! After tomorrow, I can finally let out a sigh of relief~ Finance is over & International Economics is going down tomorrow!</div>
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Ending this post with two quotes that I came across recently and really liked!<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><i>Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events. have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. </i><i>~Groucho Marx</i></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: purple;">Nobody can take away your pain, so don't let anyone take away your happiness. ~Unknown</span></i></div>
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Cya soon! >.^
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-70955401029330050352012-04-14T10:36:00.000+08:002012-04-26T11:08:04.913+08:00Sleeping experiments~<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm up so early on a Saturday!<br />
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AMAZING! </div>
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Well, not really that amazing since I'm up early to study. Ya, right after this </div>
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blog post. =X</div>
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Another reason why I'm up is due to the fact that I've been adjusting and experimenting with my biological clock. Like adjusting my alarms to a certain cycle to see whether there are any effects. So far, I've been feeling more energetic and definitely remembering more dreams recently.</div>
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Energetic, good.</div>
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Dreams, uhhh~ Not a good or bad thing I guess<br />
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My dreams for the past week have sorta been similar. Same person, similar themes. I might actually be happy IF only I didn't have to wake up and find out it's all just a dream. (And gosh, this sentence sounds like a line from a primary school composition.)</div>
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And this is the part where I insert the really cheesy line:</div>
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;">I rather have you plaguing my dreams than to have you out of my mind.</span></i><br />
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*shudders* Ok, end of cheesy time! Hahahaha!</div>
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I'll be experimenting more sleep habits after Thursday! I can't wait for it to arrive! That's when my summer starts! 19th April, 1030!<br />
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Alright! Back to studies! Gonna bake some <strike> yummilicious </strike> cookies later! Hopefully like what they say, third time's the charm. =D<br />
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Leaving you peeps with this song cover, Safe & Sound by TeraBrite. Introduced by Sherwin.</div>
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-56759657223723713262012-04-11T18:19:00.003+08:002012-04-26T11:08:04.609+08:00Welcome Home~<div style="text-align: center;">
What is the best thing someone ever said to you?</div>
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Or maybe made an huge impact on you.<br />
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I guess some would say it's the famous three words: </div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">I love you</span></i></div>
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But to me, recently I found out what really impacted me a lot are these two simple words:</div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Welcome home~</span></i></div>
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Simple ya?</div>
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So simple and yet it can affect me so greatly. For me now, these words matter more to me than any declarations of love. Or maybe I'm just being cynical of the word 'love'. To me, the word 'love' is overused in today's times. Even for myself, I'll often ask, what is love?<br />
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How do you distinguish '<span style="color: #e69138;">like</span>', '<span style="color: magenta;">love</span>', '<span style="color: red;">lust</span>' and '<span style="color: blue;">infatuation</span>'?<br />
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Don't ask me to google it. =.= </div>
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Anyway, back from digressing, why do I mention the importance of this now?<br />
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Because, recently, someone important to me who I respect greatly too said these two words to me. Well, three if you add in my name at the back but ya. </div>
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When I heard these words, I just felt, </div>
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'<i>Oh yea, I'm home again. This is where I'm accepted for who I am and people who cares for me.</i>'<br />
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Okay, it's not with a nonchalant tone but I was deeply touched when I heard those words directed at me. I feel accepted again. I mean, how many times have you heard those words? Somehow, I don't hear it frequently. Maybe it's due to growing up in an Asian culture where feelings aren't openly shown and as far as I can remember, the only indications my parents gave when they know I'm home are:</div>
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"<i>Orh</i>"<br />
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I'm not saying that I do not feel love from them but it just so happens that whenever I return home, they're busy with work or so and maybe within a family, it doesn't seem that important to say such greetings.<br />
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But I'm telling ya, it makes a difference!<br />
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Try saying these words to the next family member when they reach home. I'm not saying that it will have an impact on them immediately where a spotlight suddenly shines on you but it will slowly affect them. But if the next family member is an irritating sibling, you can skip it. Pssft. >.> I doubt I'll ever say it to my brother.<br />
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Alright! Ignore that last piece of 'advice'. Be nice to everyone, even if it's an irritating <strike>brother</strike> sibling. </div>
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I wanted to do this post up earlier but I was kinda of overwhelmed with feelings. Somehow I'm a very very emotional person which is both a good and bad thing. More on that next time. So why overwhelmed?<br />
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Hearing someone said that he/she has never given up on me was and that was because he/she knew I would eventually find my way back. That was enough to make my tears fall. </div>
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Upon hearing those words, I didn't know what to say. I feel like just saying thanks would not suffice at all. But deep down, I know what I have to do. Be there for them just as they are for me and most importantly, do not disappoint the people who care so much for me again. </div>
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I've felt quite lost at times, being caught up in the hectic life of a undergraduate and feeling like life is just all about academic. Remember what I said about finding back who i really am, the crazy, fiery & 'blunt' person in my <a href="http://joxianna.blogspot.com/2011/06/adulthood.html">birthday post</a>? I think I'm able to start on that search mission again.<br />
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Somehow, I feel like the prodigal son who has just returned home. He returned home not because he had nowhere to go, but because he knew that deep down, there is no place like home. As cliche as it sounds, this is what I'm feeling right now.</div>
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-84089696920267582372012-04-09T15:06:00.001+08:002012-04-26T11:08:05.155+08:00Whazznots I've been up to~<div style="text-align: center;">
And with that, the long weekend is over. </div>
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Sigh~</div>
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But then, this weekend was really fulfilling for me! And I shall tell you why it was so.<br />
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I spent Good Friday at Ban Theng's Birthday Celebration which was BBQ style and he managed to roped quite a few of us as his slaves for that day, especially poor Sherwin who had to be the chauffeur for his goods. Tsk tsk.<br />
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Random picture of me going out~ </div>
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Dyed my hair the night before. I don't think it's as golden/bright as before but it's not the colour that I had hoped for. T^T</div>
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Met Ban, Kim Kai, Theam Huat & Sherwin earlier to go prep some stuff, like the setting up of fire.<br />
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Which was really hilarious as the night before, the few of us were discussing what was the quickest way to set up the fire.......... and the convo contains bits & pieces of </div>
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- Burning newspaper</div>
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- Lots of google links</div>
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- Collecting twigs for the BBQ</div>
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- Going to MRT station & collect all the Today newspaper (ok, that was a lame joke by me. =3=)<br />
- Some doughnut fire setting technique.</div>
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But ya, you get the point. =.=</div>
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And in the end, the one who set up the fire was..... </div>
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None other than Ban' mum. LOL!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioWx5lNkCdxx6fnsLe_fT6thx_G_MXY4pYofo3MKiQPx-_0-oq0_yHoD8euNRl0W6OSk1q3r0qnZPJ6EWQMcpsHf19eohYkFxr3WdanIcQiB2Mnm7p3ZY6IMRUnzMDpWnWqkK5amu0VTQS/s1600/IMG_6691.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioWx5lNkCdxx6fnsLe_fT6thx_G_MXY4pYofo3MKiQPx-_0-oq0_yHoD8euNRl0W6OSk1q3r0qnZPJ6EWQMcpsHf19eohYkFxr3WdanIcQiB2Mnm7p3ZY6IMRUnzMDpWnWqkK5amu0VTQS/s320/IMG_6691.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
And while she was setting up one BBQ pit, you can just turn around and see 5 guys huddled over the other pit trying to set the fire/maintain it. LOL. </div>
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Auntie FTW! </div>
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Hahahaha! In the end, Auntie managed to set it up faster I think.<br />
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Guys hard at work~</div>
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Birthday boy being busy~</div>
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Me enjoying my eye-power seat & Kinder Joy~<br />
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Don't you think the Chrysanthemum tea looks like cooking oil?</div>
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Lovely marshmallows cooked by KK~ *yums*<br />
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Ban's <strike> 1 year </strike> 3 days of milo supply & Milo balloon from Shaun & Katie!</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">Look at how happy Ban is grinning. Hahahaha!</span></div>
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Apparently the two of them had to go compete with lots of small kids to get the balloon. Hahahah! EFFORT!</div>
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And of course, it wouldn't do to end off the celebration without some alcohol which Sherwin has so generously provided and poured. Hahahaha!<br />
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Look at the line of people waiting to have a toast with the birthday boy! </div>
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And there's where it ends, at least for this blog post. *winks*<br />
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All in all, it was a really great day, being able to meet up with lots of people I've not seen for some time and also knowing some new ones. That's all from me for now regarding Part I of my long weekend, stay tuned for Part II though I have no idea when that will be. Muahahahaha!<br />
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Hope everyone had a great rest during the weekend & is all fired up for this week! <br />
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*Wooosh*</div>
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055446574196097685.post-87503201504182024132012-04-05T00:09:00.000+08:002012-04-26T11:08:05.205+08:00OH GOSH! I'M A WORRIER!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Alright, if you guys followed me on Twitter, you would have seen my tweet regarding me having a mild case of GAD & OCD.<br /><br />Mild, that's what I think.<br /><br />So what's GAD & OCD?<br /><br /><span style="color: blue;"><span style="line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is a pattern of frequent, constant worry and </span>anxiety</span><span style="line-height: 17px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue;"> over many different activities and events.</span><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">(</span><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001915/">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001915/</a>)<br /><br /><span style="line-height: 17px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue;">Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).</span></span><br />(<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001926/">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001926/</a>)<br /><br />Alright, I just googled them and those were the 1st links shown. Hahaha! But essentially, they were what I was learning about in Psychology class today.<br /><br />During my readings, I read about GAD & didn't think much of it until Prof made us do a quiz to see if we're a worrier. Out of 13 points, majority of the people scored like 1, 0.7 and the highest I knew was a 4. Which implied that they weren't worriers. Can you guess my score?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">8.34!!<br /><br />I was like, "I'm screwed".<br /><br />And right above my depressing score of 8.34 was a line from my Prof which goes:</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: purple;">If your score is 7 or above, you have a lot of worries. You may be at risk for GAD. You should seek advice and further assessment from the SMU Counseling Center.</span><br /><br />Needless to say, I got teased badly by my friends after that.<br /><br />So I was wondering, do I really worry that much? There were 4 main things that I listed down in my 'worry list' which were my studies, family, friends & future.<br /><br />Don't people worry about them??!!<br /><br />Gosh! And to add on to this 'discovery', when reading up about OCD, I realize I have a few compulsive behaviours. Like checking my bag repeatedly to ensure my wallet is there and pushing the door <strike>several</strike> many times to ensure it's lock. Small case, but I should just remind myself not to let it increase.<br /><br />So for those people who were really concerned & messaged me, don't worry, it's just an official diagnosis from Dr. Jo. Hahahaha!<br /><br />Anyway, just read something on my bestie <a href="http://kmbrlydvd.blogspot.com/">blog</a> and wanted to share! So sweeeeeeeet! And please, do not upload those old neoprints. I'll faint on the spot. Even looking at them, I think I will. (I'm your faithful stalker too! =P)<br /><br />Tomorrow is my last day of school! Woohoo! Then it will be a week of studying before going for the final sprint: Finals! It's all gonna be over on 19th April! After that, I'm going to enjoy my summer!!<br /><br />But before that, FINALS....=.=<br /><br />Shall amuse myself with hairdye tomorrow~ Have shortlisted on a few colours but not really sure which one to go for~ Oh well, you get to see it tomorrow on Twitter I guess. Heehee!<br /><br />Shall go off & rehearse my final presentation. Before that, shall share a small lame joke I made. (My friends insisted that it was a sign of GAD in me. Pssft!)<br /><br />*Jo & Jian Hui queuing up for awesome pasta @ SMU*<br />*Pasta Stall Auntie recognizes us as people who always choing down during break to dapao food*<br /><br />Jian Hui: 1 Carbonara please.<br />Pasta Stall Auntie: Ok! *scribbles order*<br />*JH pays*<br />Jo: Auntie, 1 Carbonara!<br />Pasta Stall Auntie: Oh, you two are together right!<br />Jo: Nope, we're not together but you can put our orders together! *smiles*<br /><br />*Friends at the back face-palmed and die*<br /><br />If you don't get the joke......... Well, I hope you do get the joke. <br /><br />Hahahahah! It was pretty funny! Gonna miss my group mates a lot! Alright, more from me soon! Jaa~</span></span><br />
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</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0