'Smile. Think Happy Thoughts.'
This is what I'm saying to myself now. At this moment.
Sometimes, no matter how happy you are in a day, there will definitely be some moments where you are feeling down.
However, I'll tell myself, only I can make myself feel down. Only when I allow others, only then can they or their actions make me feel down. Thus, if I feel upset or down, I'm the one allowing myself to feel that way. Only few can make me feel that way without my control and they are the rare few. Which I know, they won't hurt me in anyway. I believe in them. I'll do my utmost to protect them and I believe they will do the same for me.
Many things have changed. I feel like there are more things that I have to accomplish now. I feel like there are more responsibilities in my life now. I feel like rejecting them at times. But I know I can't and I won't. Its my life after all.
Expectations. That's a word I'm damn familiar with since I was a kid. Expectations were greater when it came to my turn thanks to my parents, my family. Practically everywhere I went, expectations followed. Its normal I know. It happens to everyone. But when expectations turn nasty, when it turns into force. I hate it. I really do. However, I've grown to learn and accept expectations better now. Someone once told me: When people expect things from you, it means that they believe you can make things happen for them.
I got a different perspective of expectations after that. It doesn't mean I welcome it with open arms but its easier to accept now.
Through the past few months, I've been hearing people tell me all sorts of different things. Lots of things.
Loner or not? Another person told me: Sometimes in life, you have to slow down and wait. If you just run ahead without looking back, there may be a day where you realised that there is no one is with you.
I'm getting tired and sleepy so I guess I'll just end it here. Good Night.
I'm counting down.