Well, I was quite pissed off yesterday by some stuff that I think it is better not to blog about it here, mainly about my church. I was quite fed up as I am always blamed for stuff that is not my fault and I'm sick of having to take all the blames..Its always me just because I'm the pastor child. I have to go through this type of life because of my parents occupation. I was judged by whatever I do and to uphold my parents reputation, the church and the school's. When i was in primary school, I had to lead that kind of life, cos my mother is the teacher. From young, I've only been allowed to succeed and not to fail. If i fail, I will be blamed and everything will go wrong. If they are so good, do it themselves. I'm not blaming my parents totally, but I'm just sick of all this life. I feel that I often live for others and not for myself, I have to go and represent church, family and many other stuff. Whatever events, they send me for the rehearsal and on the actual day, they don't want me to be there. What am I to them? Just a substitute? I'm sick of how they act. I slogged so hard and they get all the credit. I am forced to keep the reputation up and they still blame me even when its not my fault. They often use me as a comparison and if I've done badly though I've tried my best, they just say that I've not put in my best. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I just feel like screaming. I think I've lost all hope in life too..except for animes, God and....but the rehearsal on sat went quite well. Made lots of new friends from other churches.
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