Relieved.. Sorta

Yea, feeling relieved that maybe after letting my blog rot off and  sink into the depths of dust bunnies, no one will bother to read it and its easier for me to blog freely. I guess today's post will be more like a rant I guess.

Or maybe just something I observe.

I dislike being normal. Perhaps the word 'common' is more appropriate. I love bright colours, colours that just stand out. I guess one of the reasons why I like pink is 'cos not a lot of people like to admit they do or rather shun away from pink. But I like it, it's an happy colour. Same goes for red. Never really a person to go for mainstream stuff. Especially when it comes to dressing or bags or shoes. I like something different. I want to be different. Can it be considered attention seeking? Maybe? But I'm not exactly craving for people to idolize me. Or even wanting. I don't think its so much of that assurance from others for me but more of my own opinion and feelings.

I had a really low self esteem when I was young. Always felt that there's no point in trying hard as in the end, I'm just huddled away like the rest while the privileged will just ascend to their pedestals. And somehow I'm always friends with the 'privileged'. Do note that I say this with an open heart and jestingly. Gotta admit that I did envy these people who seem to have everything. But as I got to know them better, I realized that life ain't a bed of roses for them. But then again. when is life a bed of roses. Thorns, yea.

When you envy someone, you tend to follow their actions or dressing to be more like them, in order to achieve what they have. But in the end, it's different. You may think you have achieved it but in the end, who are the people that you're trying to please accepting? Ok, that last sentence sounded a little confusing so hope you get it. I had to spend some time thinking if that made sense. Think it did. If you follow others and get accepted, you're just giving the world a clone of someone else. The people who accept you then, are they truly accepting you? Are you accepting yourself? I wasn't. I dislike myself.

But in the end, after lots of Ups & Downs, I gradually found myself and start accepting it. It isn't easy. We're all flawed. And it isn't easy looking at others 'perfect' lives, but it isn't so perfect you know. It may seem like they're living The Life when we view it through their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.. but that's what they most probably want others to see. Not saying it's wrong. I do that too. It's just that, we tend to post the highlights of our lives, the interesting stuff.

Ok, think I have side-tracked quite a little. Where did the rant I had in mind ran off too? The rant that ran away. =.=

Oh yea. So I mentioned that I don't really like mainstream stuff, and as the people around me will know, I can't handle being restrained. And I need adrenaline in my life. So yea, I like to dress up, I like to take pictures of me. I prefer taking my own pictures and I still feel kinda of awkward when posing for others. I like pretty and cute things. I try to mix my styles and all. Of course I'm no genius. I think I suck at art. Ok, cancel the thinking. I suck at art. I'm no fashion designer. I browse magazines, tv programs and whatsnot for fashion advice, yada yada yada. But I don't follow blindly. I know me. I might not know expertly what suits me externally/physically but I know what suits me inside. Sporty? Chic? Pinky? Demure? Grunge? I know what I feel like on specific days and that often set the mood for my attire or so.

Never one to fix on just a specific style.

So I like to think I have my own style. And I feel it's different from usual? At least slightly? And by own style, I meant when I do make the effort to dress up. On lazy days or school days, I'm usually just in my usual shorts & tees. And I feel my own style is not just limited to my attire but my attitude and the way I do things around me.

Ahh, coming to the main point now. Maybe I shall be blunt and just blurt it out.

I dislike it when others copy my style.

Copy might be too harsh a word. How bout 'follow'? I'm not saying that I have a throng of followers but it's just something I dislike. A few or even just one person doing that is enough to get on my nerves. And I seriously doubt I'll ever get my own fan-base.

Do you ever get those situations or moments that when you first started doing/wearing/loving something that wasn't part of the mainstream but after a while, everyone around you seems to be doing/wearing/loving it? I have. Not saying that I brought around the change. Goodness no, I ain't that capable. But maybe social channels brought it up a lot and people start to only take notice then and suddenly, boosh! It's an 'In Thing'. Like dramas or styles, etc. Bah!

Or maybe someone actually did follow your actions and whatsnot. Not sure about you but I find it pretty irritating at times.

Of course, as girls, there is the situation of someone wearing the same outfit as you and all of a sudden, the space around y'all darkens considerably. Most of the time. If not planned.

Among my friends, we have similar outfits or even the same outfit but  I don't really mind. Because I know they have their own way of wearing it and I have mine. There's often the situation where my friends will ask me if I mind them getting the same clothing item as me or vice-versa. And I really don't mind. Note: Friends

But when it's not my friends, or perhaps not my close friends, I get slightly irritated. Or more. Sometimes I just get the feeling that it's been violated. Whatever the subject is. Not that I'm the creator of it but still. There's just this URGH feeling in me. And most of the time, I get so turned off that I just give up on it till the 'fad' or the copying is over before bringing back in. Unless it's something I hold dear, then I'll probably fight with my dear life. Whatever that means in different situations.

So yea, I thought it would be a really short post with me just ranting a little but I guess I just had to explain and poof! The words just kept coming and it churned out a not-so-short post.

Still feeling a little irked by some recent incidents which caused this post but then again, I just 'gave up' on it. Not really something I love so it's alright. I'll go back to it when it more or less dies off.

But just a little something. Call it my pride or ego talking. When I do/wear something, it's usually something I'm confident of so I'm pretty sure I do/wear it much better than most people who just follow or catch on later. Take that!

Tears - Happiness & Sadness

I started my birthday with tears and ended with it too.

No, I did not cry the whole day. There's a difference for those 2 tears-fest. 

When the clock striked 12 midnight on 26th June 2012, I felt overwhelmed with sadness and just broke down sobbing. I just sat there and 'stoned' for a really long time before picking myself up and proceeding with my usual activities.

And just, at 11.59pm on 26th June 2012, I started tearing again. This time, the tears came due to the happiness I felt in me. I felt so much love from my friends and without them, I wouldn't have as much fun today! 

I really feel so blessed for having them in my life. I know I've said it on FaceBook and all but I just can't help it. Words just can't seem to express how grateful and blessed I feel towards them. 

This is just a short post and I will update again soon about it~ I'm really tired now but I just feel the need to blog it out 1st! There is no better word to describe this moment than jubilant.

Kimberly, Sarah & Evangeline:

Thank you to my dear girls for coming down. Despite your hectic schedules, you made time for me and I really appreciate it! We're all growing old and in a blink of an eye, we've known each other for almost 10 years. Thanks for always being there for me! 

Danny, Trixy, Xiang Min, Sherwin, Kim Kai, Ban Theng, Wendy, Fook Yu & Steve.

Thanks for coming down today! Really appreciate it and I really really feel so blessed and loved to have you people in my life. I'm really glad to have met you all and thanks for making this such a memorable and awesome day for me. Words really can't express how I feel but still, I'll try my best. May we have many more good years ahead of us! ^^

That's all for now, I'll blog more in detail tomorrow I guess, if I'm not knocked out by tiredness. I think I might finally be able to sleep well, like finally. At least for tonight, I don't want to think so much and just sleep. 

Bon Voyage

Summer has barely started and I'm bidding goodbyes to 3 of my dearest friends. 

1) Joy who left for U.S on Monday for a month.

2) Zhi Sen who just flew off today for U.S for 3 months.

3) Kim who's flying off to Thailand tomorrow for 1.5 months. 

Ahh~ All of them are flying off and I'm kinda of 'stuck' here till my overseas trip. 

Went to the airport today with Ban Theng to send Zhi Sen off~

*sobs*

Here's wishing a safe trip for all of them and may they have a blast there! =D

Was planning to work till end of June for this summer to ensure I don't just idle my time away but then Dad proposed an idea - Family Trip in June. 

To Taiwan. 

So that kinda of puts a damper on my working plans. And he had to tell me that after I spent a whole week searching for jobs and going for countless interviews. Countless. >.>

So yea, more or less confirmed going to Taiwan with my parents in June and off to Bangkok with my gals in early July. Not going to work this summer but instead, tie up all the loose ends.

Like for example, get my dmn driving license. Yea.. And clean up my room. It's 70% done. Just left with some cabinets and then it's time to clear my wardrobe. Create more space for my hauls from BKK. =P

But besides driving and cleaning up my room, I felt like going for some classes. Mum sorta asked me to continue learning Japanese while Dad asked me to go for some cooking class. =3=

Any recommendations? Am revising my old stuff online now. 

So besides those 'boring' stuff said above, I've been busy with my movies, dramas and of course chillaxing with my friends. =D Shall share more about it next time but for now, my dreams are calling me. 

Maybe more tomorrow~ Jaa!

Welcome Home~

What is the best thing someone ever said to you?

Or maybe made an huge impact on you.

I guess some would say it's the famous three words: 

I love you

But to me, recently I found out what really impacted me a lot are these two simple words:

Welcome home~

Simple ya?

So simple and yet it can affect me so greatly. For me now, these words matter more to me than any declarations of love. Or maybe I'm just being cynical of the word 'love'. To me, the word 'love' is overused in today's times. Even for myself, I'll often ask, what is love?

How do you distinguish 'like', 'love', 'lust' and 'infatuation'?

Don't ask me to google it. =.= 

Anyway, back from digressing, why do I mention the importance of this now?

Because, recently, someone important to me who I respect greatly too said these two words to me. Well, three if you add in my name at the back but ya. 

When I heard these words, I just felt, 

'Oh yea, I'm home again. This is where I'm accepted for who I am and people who cares for me.'

Okay, it's not with a nonchalant tone but I was deeply touched when I heard those words directed at me. I feel accepted again. I mean, how many times have you heard those words? Somehow, I don't hear it frequently. Maybe it's due to growing up in an Asian culture where feelings aren't openly shown and as far as I can remember, the only indications my parents gave when they know I'm home are:

"Orh"

I'm not saying that I do not feel love from them but it just so happens that whenever I return home, they're busy with work or so and maybe within a family, it doesn't seem that important to say such greetings.

But I'm telling ya, it makes a difference!

Try saying these words to the next family member when they reach home. I'm not saying that it will have an impact on them immediately where a spotlight suddenly shines on you but it will slowly affect them. But if the next family member is an irritating sibling, you can skip it. Pssft. >.> I doubt I'll ever say it to my brother.

Alright! Ignore that last piece of 'advice'. Be nice to everyone, even if it's an irritating brother sibling. 

I wanted to do this post up earlier but I was kinda of overwhelmed with feelings. Somehow I'm a very very emotional person which is both a good and bad thing. More on that next time. So why overwhelmed?

Hearing someone said that he/she has never given up on me was and that was because he/she knew I would eventually find my way back. That was enough to make my tears fall. 

Upon hearing those words, I didn't know what to say. I feel like just saying thanks would not suffice at all. But deep down, I know what I have to do. Be there for them just as they are for me and most importantly, do not disappoint the people who care so much for me again. 

I've felt quite lost at times, being caught up in the hectic life of a undergraduate and feeling like life is just all about academic. Remember what I said about finding back who i really am, the crazy, fiery & 'blunt' person in my birthday post? I think I'm able to start on that search mission again.

Somehow, I feel like the prodigal son who has just returned home. He returned home not because he had nowhere to go, but because he knew that deep down, there is no place like home. As cliche as it sounds, this is what I'm feeling right now.

And another week has flew by~

*Flutter Flutter Flutter*

*Whoosh Whoosh Whoosh!*

-----------------------BEEP-------------------------

Okie! CPR done & blog revived!

-.-

Lame I know~ But who cares!! Whahahaha!

I have lots of photos to be posted here but I'm just sooooo lazy to do so~ I need motivation! Pronto~

Maybe I should start with what I was doing before my 1 week of study 'break'. (It was a lie! There was hardly any rest for us!)


Attended SMUBE Bash and had a great time there with my fellow club mates and boy! They were a bunch of crazy, high people! Hahaha!

Manaaged to know more people there and also the seniors! The previous day was the VPH Finals and kudos to all the finalists! They did an awesome job on stage & the respective winners totally deserve their titles!

Love all the videos that they made! Whahahaha!

So enough yakking and I shall post all the photos I took to make this post seem really long~ =p
P.S. All photos in this post were taken with my iPhone thus the quality of it~ But I will totally promise to utilize my camera if I replace my current Sony one now. >D

Was giving out tons of balloons before the event.

I really thought I was going to fly up into the air & visit Niagara Falls. But then I decided that too many people would miss me so I flew back down. =p

Heart the backdrop!


And throughout the whole contest, I felt that the pairings were really well-matched! The VPH committee was awesome in it!

The coolest voting slips that I've ever saw!

Wanted to kope it for myself when I saw it. Kessler had dibs on Ne-Yo first. Pssft~

Left earlier to meet dearest boyf for dinner & we went to Popeyes where I camwhored whilst waiting for him~


Next day was the BE Bash which the theme was: Love-Hate Event
Which basically means that all of us had to don on a hat. Or rather, head gear~

And so, pictures again!

Kessler & his styling beanie~


With Brandon.


Suhailah & Olivia~


Ada!
She's super good with picking out 'ada' in words. LOL!


Lydia! A really cool babe~


David & his awesome hair~ LOL!


Marcus & Stanley.


Chicken Man!

His headgear was seriously so awesome la! And needless to say, he won the best 'hat' of the night! LOL!

The view from the venue~


Don't you think he look like the hunter in L4D with his jacket? Whahahaha!


And it's Stanley again with yours truly~


Had a really great time there!

Can't wait to meet them again. heex~

And so, next day was the day where I saikang-ed for Leen's Sandplay photoshoot @ Fort Canning~

Gotta say, out of all the times I've been there for photoshoot, that day was the coolest~

And I'm seriously thinking of wearing this for the Harry Potter 7th Movie! XDD

Trying to jio as many people to wear it & go watch. Muahahahaha!

Green tea is good for cooling yourself off~


Lying on the grass & enjoying the breeze whilst waiting~


Kira-fied by Kuromi~


One of my fav photo of the day~

Taken using an app on my phone. Love the effects~

And its me again!


With my 'boyfriend'!


After a tiring day, we all went for makan & played GoNDie!~


Looked at how serious they are!



Okie! Time to end this post off & continue choing-ing my projects!!~

On a shopping adventure~

Last week, I finally got the chance to go out with Leen~ We've been so busy with our own work that we didn't really manage to go shopping or makan at all~ T.T

So after our work/PRCP ended, we set a date and went shopping! Decided to go to Bugis 1st as 37489290365 months have flew past since I last went there.

Somehow, we managed to buy some stuff from there and even got ourselves a 'couple tee' and similar glasses. -.-
(I wonder how boyf would react after seeing us in them though he already knows about it. =p)

After our shopping hunt in Bugis, we head off to Sunshine Plaza to eat our mix-mix ice-cream only to find it closed. As in, closed down for good. After sobbing our eyes out and doing some checking, we found that they had moved to POMO which was just opposite~ Heehee! Shall go there and eat it someday! But our trip down wasn't a futile one as we had a great time in KKNM and Ms Leen managed to buy an awesome Kaichou wa Maid-Sama handphone charm which happened to be the last piece.

After that, we headed down to Liang Court to meet XM and to intro Leen to the Curry Rice there~ Heex.

And as we were early, we camwhored while waiting for boyf to arrive.

Love this pair of shades that I just got!




Had deserts after that which consists of lovely cream puff, cheese stick, mocha cake and pudding. No pictures from me but you can see them at Leen's blog.

Had a superb day out and when she stayed over at my house and we spam You're Beautiful which I'm trying to convert her to a fan... which I think I've nearly succeeded.. Yes?

Anyway, we still gotta go out again someday to POMO for ice-cream and also Arab street to find some stuff that we need for Natsu!! (Yes! Natsu! Next Sat!!! Wheeee!) We were also experimenting our yukatas, obis and hairstyles during her sleepover. Heeheehee!

Okie~ Currently waiting for my SDO download to be done so I can play a little. You heard it right, I'm actually taking initiative to game. LOL! I wonder how long can my gaming mode last me. =p

Cya for now!